My Baby S Father Wants To Work Things Out

3 Replies
cindi - June 28

A while back I posted about my situation with my baby's dad, about him not being supportive or there for me. I so appreciate everyone who responded and gave me words of encouragement. well, i am 33wks pregnant and he and i have been separated for the past three months although he has called from time to time. i was too angry and hurt to deal with him so many times i didnt even answer his calls. last week he came to see me, unexpectedly, and asked if we could talk. he told me that he realized that he screwed up and that he was wrong. he told me that the preganacy and all scared him. he said he loves me and he wants to do whatever it takes to fix things with us. that day i pretty much just listened to him and didnt say much. well, he came to see me again in an attempt to try to make up and i must admit it felt so good being with him. i have missed him so much and i didnt even realize it. and it wasnt the loneliness kicking in...i forgot how much i genuinely like him besides all his bad points. throughout our relationship we had a really cool friendship and always had fun together. i'm afraid to go back although i want to. im scared things will get bad again between us. but i feel if i dont take a chance then i'll never know what it could have been. any thoughts?? thanks for reading.

 

sfrias - June 28

HI Cindi, I understand how you feel. I would recomend you to take it easy. When we are pregnant our hormones are crazy, so please, do not take a rushed decision. At some point of my life my psychologist asked me to do a list about the good things and bad things about my partner. She requested me a second list about what I wanted and I was not willing to compromise, what I do not wanted and I was not willing to compromise, and what I could negociate. That will help you to clarify some things. If after that you are still not sure, let the involvement to occur slowly, so you can check how you feel and how much he has changed. Cindi, you are not alone. Neither you or your child need stress at this point. ONly let him come back into your lives if you are sure. What is your instinct telling you? Is that something different from your heart? I hope this helps!

 

Been There - June 28

I wish I had some words of wisdom to offer, but I don't. I can only suggest that you know what it is you want from him, make sure he knows it and make sure you get it. I wouldn't so easily let him just jump right back into his spot. You may want to allow some space and let his actions speak for him. For instance, see what he starts doing to be sure you are properly prepared for the baby. Is he providing money and items, etc.? What are his plans about finances and caring for the baby? Where does he expect your relationship to go once you are together? Is he truly thinking about the future? What are his expectations? These things say alot about what he's really thinking and if he's commited to being there for you and the baby. You need to be sure of the reasons you would take him back. Be sure it's because it's what you want to do. Not because you're afraid no one will want you or you have to settle because he fathered your child. That's not good enough and you will have failed yourself. Best wishes in your decision as you are the only one who can determine what to do.

 

dee23 - June 28

personally, i would say, life brings us the most unexpected things at the most unexpected time. but life is life.....you should live it anyway that you want to...we only get one chance to do the things our heart truely desires. i dont know what he did, but if it wasent life changing like cheating, or mid life crisis, i would personally give him the chance. even if that means to make him promise numerous things before hand, and counselling or long discussions (which is a good idea seeing as theres a baby involved), im sure he will live up to expectations if he is truely feeling sry for what he has done. i know it might be hard, but follow your heart, and dont worry too much about what might happen, that might make it more difficult. just remember, life is a big roller coster ride, always think of number one first and do what makes you happy.

 

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