My Husband Won T Have Sex With Me

6 Replies
Tootsie5c - March 28

I'm 33 weeks pregnant and my husband and I have had s_x once in two months. Two nights ago my husband tried having s_x with me and couldn't hold an erection. It was obvious he was only doing it because he thought he had to. He doesn't act like he loves me anymore. He acts like we're just friends. I can't get him to hold my hand, and kissing him just feels different. I can tell he doesn't feel the same way about me anymore. I don't really know what kind of advice I'm looking for, I'm just sad and feeling unloved.

 

kay101 - March 28

Mine has gotten a little less demanding since I've gotten bigger. He doesn't want to lay on me and think he's hurting me or the baby and he can sometimes see I get uncomfortable.......he gives up after not having any for a little while though. Have you tried talking with him about it? Men can get just as moody as women during pregnancy and I know a lot of them can be freaked out by s_x when their partner is pregnant, especially once they start to show and the pregnancy becomes more real to them.

 

Tootsie5c - March 28

I tried the other night after the s_x incident. I actually ended it by just looking at him and saying "You don't want this" and leaving the room crying. He said its just different because of the baby, and I guess I can understand that. But its not just like s_x...its just this constant feeling that he's lacking all the emotions he used to have for me. Its like he's a totally different person. I feel like a single parent, honestly. Like I don't have his love or his support at all.

 

kay101 - March 28

We have our days......sometimes he wants to be left alone sometimes I do. One day I'll think he's an insensitive a__s, then the next he'll be completely sweet. We worked opposite schedules so sometimes didn't spend much time together, but I'm on bedrest now and feel like we've gotten to rebond. Try talking with him about it (as calm as possible!) and let him know you don't feel like he's paying attention to you. I'd try to make an effort to spend some quality time together if he'll go for it like maybe going out to eat, then snuggling up on the couch when you get home and watching a movie. After that, you know your man, maybe you could do something to get him in the mood :) all I have to do is kiss mine on the neck and it's over lol so if you want to try something to turn him on and keep at it to keep his interest on you, and take the focus off the baby.

 

jujulbee98 - March 29

going thru the same thing, i havent had s_x since i was 8 weeks and now im 38! wow thats a long time, kinda depressing now that i typed it!!! but anyways we have both discussed it and tried but one of us ends up changing our minds. honestly it kinds freaks us both out cuz when we start to mess around baby starts kicking and moving and it just ruins it!! so we pretty much just stay away from eachother, figgure it will eventually kick back in to normal in a few months. once i came to the conclusion he wasnt avoiding me as a person it really helped us get along! we agreed to give up on s_x (not saying i gave up easily) and things are really looking up!! my suggestion is to try it and see if it makes a difference, its not easy but it really works! good luck!!!!!

 

beardtl - March 29

i know your pain...my dh will not have s_x me either. the problem is i want it soooo bad. we have talked and he is really scared- scared to hurt the baby and/or me. i understand especially now that i am big as a house but in the beginning it was hard for me to get, but all my books seem to agree and we even spoke with our ob dr about it and she rea__sured us that's its not me physically or whatever it's just men actually do have feelings and care. i guess it doesn't help that in the beginning everytime we had s_x i bled so we both freaked out and ended up at the hospital and now that the baby moves all the time it freaks us out too. i want it but maybe just b/c he doesn't -b/c i think if we actually did it i might feel weird. just make sure you talk about it in depth if need be. that is what really got us through it. tonight i might just be agressive and just demand it instead of waiting on him i just hope he doesn't smell, look or say anything that might turn me off. :) thats so easy to do now. :) good luck and don't worry.

 

mgn - March 30

no worries. my dh and i were VERY active prior to pregnancy. we stayed fairly active until about 6 months when i started to show. we had it once at month 6 and none since! i am over 8 months now. its hard for me as i really want it (sorry but i do) and he doesnt. he is afraid to hurt baby and says it is just freaky. i tease him and tell him he always used to be "freaky" hehe. for real, i know it sucks. i too feel like were roomates but this is all part of it. it will go back to normal after baby or not. it may switch and is girls will be the ones who dont want it. i am sure after a few months (after baby) it will be ok. in the meantime, there are lots of other ways to make each other happy. :)

 

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