Parents With 2 Or More Kids

6 Replies
lrodriguez83 - December 2

I am 37 weeks pregnant with my 2nd little boy. I am going in for repeat c section next week. I am super excited to meet my new little boy, but scared at the same time. My first child is 2.5 yrs old. Just got him potty trained. I am so scared and anxious that I won't be able to spend the time with him like before. Its so close now and the fact that we are going from a family of 3 to a family of 4 is starting to scare me. Can I handle this, will it all be ok. Is this normal to start getting scared now?

 

kmoselle - December 2

I think what you are going through is completely normal. I have no other kids, however, my husand has 2 children from a previous marriage. I see him going through a similar thing and asking the same questions. He is worried that he won't be able to handle having 3 kids. He wonders if he will be able to give his daughters the attention that they fight each other for or that they will resent him for having another kid with someone who isn't their mommy. I told him everything will work out. No one is taking love away from anyone, there will just be more love to go around. Besides, I think his daughters will love being big sisters to their new little brother. I am sure everything will work out for my family- just the same as it will work out for your family.

 

kmoselle - December 2

Oh- and like I told my dh, we just have to have the girls "help" with the new baby. Give them things to do to make them part of taking care of him like helping with the bath. And do things together like reading to all of them. That way, he can spend time with all the kids. And set aside a few minutes alone with the older baby- with lots of hugs and kisses and rea__surances- so he does not feel neglected.

 

lrodriguez83 - December 2

That is a good idea! He is at the stage of lots of tantrums when he doesn't get his way, so if i add him into lots of things like bath's and play time and have him help me out by bringing me things, he will feel more apart of it. Thanks......

 

breezieb - December 2

I have a 5 year old son and 3 year old daughter. I am now due in Feburary with a lil boy. It is defantly normal to feel like that! My son was 2 when my dd was born and it all just kinda falls into place. The best thing you can do is have a schedule for them. If you get your son set to a routine now then when the new baby arrives he will seek comfort in his schedule and routine. Give him special duties like being in charge of throwing away diapers or singing a song for the baby...anything to make him proud to care for his lil sibling. Also at my hospital they have a free sibling cla__s where the child goes and learns about taking care of the new baby and how important his role is. They give the child certification and everything. My sister and I took the cla__s when my lil brother was born and my mom hung up our certificates in the babys nursery...I remember feeling very special. I have signed my kids up for this cla__s and I am going to hang their certificates up in the babys room. They are so excited about it. Everything will fall into place though!!!

 

DDT - December 4

Hi, I have a 21 month old ds and a 6 month old ds. My 2nd pregnancy was a surprise and like yourself I was worried about how I would handle two babies and also be able to spend quality time with ds1. Ds1 has been on a routine since he was a baby so once ds2 arrived I continued with his routine as normal. In the beginning (first 2 months or so) ds2 slept alot during the day so I could spend time with ds1. Once ds2 started "waking up" I enrolled ds1 at "Little Gym" and we go once a week where ds2 is in his Bumbo or on the floor and I spend one-on-one time with ds1. Ds1 also goes to a craft/art toddler cla__s. So, I try to give him his own special time. Ds2 is also on a routine which helps my day run as smoothly as possible and better yet give me about 1-1.5hrs at lunch time when both are napping at the same time. I think establishing a routine helps a lot. And I have been told my many mommies of 2 or more than it is fairly essential in keeping your sanity. I agree that letting your ds1 be involved in some baby stuff will make him feel included. Ds1 gets the diaper, or soother, or helps put powder on ds2's bum ect. I have o admit that the 2nd & 3rd month was hard with an increase in tantrums, jealously and hitting. But we were consistently stern with him and also tried to show him that the "baby" is more human than object. We taught him his name, and when ds2 started smiling ds1 could see that if he did something funny he would get a reaction. Now they are starting to get close. Ds1 shares his toys and his beloved blankie, asks us where he is, concerned about him ect. Be aware that there may be some regression. He may want to behave like a baby because baby is the focus...so he wants to get your attention. It's completely normal so just let him do it. There also be some regression with the potty training...but not always. Good Luck!!

 

Bryandi - December 6

Irodriguez, I am going to have my third c-section this coming Wednesday. I have a 3 year old dd and a 21 mth old ds. I completely agree that routines are very important. Not only for your children, but for your own piece of mind. If you know you have a reprieve, either in the way of naptime or kids play by themselves for a half hour time it keeps you a little bit sane and gives you something to look forward to when things get difficult. My daughter did regress a bit in terms of talking more like a baby and wanting you to do more stuff for her that she was already doing for herself. Now that ds is mobile and able to communicate better she is again reaching for her independence and being proud of her accomplishments and acting more like the big girl she is. I am curious to see if she has another regression or if she takes the role of big sister/mom's helper more to heart this time than she did last time. She already "mothers" my ds all the time now. I also wonder if he will regress. I guess he has a 50/50 chance. Either he watches older dd and continues to try and be independent and a "big boy" or he resents the loss of being the baby and tries to act more like his little sister for attention. LOL we are both in for the unknown! Good luck with your kiddos!

 

ADD A COMMENT:


You must log in to reply.

Are you New to the forum? Sign Up Here! Already a member? Please login below.

Forgot your password?
Need Help?
New to the forum?

Sign Up Here!


Already a member?
Please login below.





Forgot your password?
Need Help?  
Start A New Discussion