Rude Friends

5 Replies
Kaeli - November 6

I had the most bizarre thing happen to me the other day. Out of the blue one of my best friends called me to tell me we shouldn't name our baby boy Max (it will actually be Maddox, Max for short). She said that he would go through his childhood being called Maxi-Pad... I thanked her for her concern and said that we had already decided that was going to be the name. Personally I think whatever you name your child, it has the potential to be made fun of.. that is just how kids are. But the more I think about it the more it made me feel c__ppy that she would do that!! Then today I had a huge case of baby blues, was just feeling unsure of myself as an impending mother.. So I emailed her and told her I needed some positive support... She emailed me back and told me she never thought it was a good idea that we have this baby and that she thinks that my boyfriend (who I love dearly) isnt "marriage material".. Damn... I feel even c__ppier now... Do I say something to her or just let it go?

 

kris A. - November 6

Kaeli, I feel your pain. Does your friend have a child? I have a friend with no kids who feels free at every opportunity to tell me how I am erring at raising my kids, and I have just decided to let the comments go although they do bother me. She just doesn't get it, so I can either accept her rudeness about that in order to enjoy her company in all the things we share in common - or write off her friendship. I have tried in subtle ways to let her know how I feel about these comments, but it never sunk in, so I just dont talk to her about the kids, and try to edit my conversations about those types of things. As far as the name thing goes, that's c___p, and she has to know it hurt your feelings - Max is a strong name and my coworker's son is named Max, he doesn't get grief about it. I am naming my daughter Wren and the comments go from very negative to very positive, and I

 

... - November 6

dont really care either way, because my family likes it, and it is the name we have chosen for our new baby girl...so when Baby Max gets here, she will be so busy fawning over him it wont be an issue. Same for baby Wren, it's all good.

 

Jackie - November 7

Oh Kaelie I think Max is a beautiful name! Maybe your friend is just jealous that you are going thru something so wonderful. I have a friend who when she found out the name for my baby told me that it was a good in the womb name but not a good name for a baby! My feelings were so hurt and then later i was super angry but then I thought about it and realized she is not perfect either (in fact I think she needs more advice on raising kids then me ;p)

 

RG - November 7

Kaeli...I'm with you. All the advise for pregnant women...gosh...can we not just do what we want, after all it is our 9 months to be doing one of the most miracalous things on earth! We are creating a life...and if we want to name him/her Pooh Bear then that's our choice. I've overweight, and I've heard all the "eatting for two" comments that I can stand...now when I tell everyone that I weight less now at 9 months than I did before I started, they shut up. About the friend thing...sometimes you have to let things go. Again I'm overweight...my bestfriend was getting married and I was maid of honor...she asked my opinion on the dress and I said I'll wear whatever you want as long as it's not spaghetti straps (or if it is maybe a shaw or something...) well after we went and looked, with her other girls that were all below a size 8...she descided that she was going to do what she wanted. She sent me this bad email that said she was sorry but if I wouldn't wear the dress she wanted then I just couldn't be in the wedding. No I was hurt...I mean in tears hurt, but I got over it, I did go and was an honorary bridesmaid and just was seated with her family. It was sort of embara__sing...but then again, she's like the pregnant woman that wanted to do what she wanted you know. I can see both sides here now that I'm preg....but all in all, we don't even bring it up anymore..it's been about 6 years. I guess I'm just saying try to let it go if you can...if she's worth saving the friendship. It may even take some time for you to get over being hurt...it did me. Good Luck!

 

Kaeli - November 7

Thank you everyone for the supportive comments. I really do appreciate it. I was and still am very hurt by her comments, because they are just things that I would never say to someone. I am sure I will get over it. It will just take some time (you know, pregnancy hormones and all!). She has always been a very good friend to me in the past and I dont want to give that up. I just may be a bit more selective about the things I choose to tell her. Again, I really do appreciate the positive comments and stories you have all told me! Maybe I will just express my worries and concerns on the forums from now on!!! *hugs*

 

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