So Worried Need Some Encouragement Please

7 Replies
lindsay - June 5

i just came back from my doctors appointment ( i will be 40 weeks on wed!!!) and things are not looking good !!:( i am so upset right now, i know i am being a bit selfish because i've even said on here so many times that the only objective is to get the baby here as healthy and safely as possible... but there's what's got me upset)...: many of you know that i have a placental abnormality called a circ_mvallate placenta, which has caused lot of worry for me and baby whole pregnancy, but so far(and look how far we've come) so good!! but because of this abnormality, i am not allowed to go a full 42 weeks before induction... understandable, but that upsets me because, due to a horrible epidural recovery w/ my son 4 years ago, i have been insistant on going unmedicated this time, my main reason for not wanting to be induced, just because of some of the stories you hear about harder labor, etc, etc...but, i had come to terms w/ the probability of induction, assuring myself that it would be a good experience (was w/ my son, but had the epi, so not sure how bad contractions actually were until it wore off when time to push) and that the drip would be started slow and i could ease into it, much like natural labor(these are the things i tell myself to be in the right mindset, lol) ok, so last week, had my first internal, nothing, just that my cervix was beginning to soften... had my 2nd internal today... NO CHANGE! in the words of my doctor, " your cervix is just not favorable for induction right now." what? WHAT? he asked if i was more comfortable w/ va___al or c-section... UM>>> VAGINAL!!! i am telling you girls, the thought of a c-section terrifies me so much , i think they'd have to knock me out because i seriously don't think i can cope w/that! plus, i'm going to end up w/ a spinal/epidural anyways... the #1 thing i've been trying to dodge this whole delivery!!! so i ask about cervidil first, he says they might do that fri( i have an appt, nst, and u/s to see how things are) but my induction is scheduled for monday the 12th... i know i should be so happy to have such a wondeful day to look forward to, but now i am just so afraid that my body's not going to be ready and my induction will end up in c-section!!! i just want to curl up in a little ball and cry!! i know that it is still possible for me to spontaneously go on my own, and i am praying... i'll even be happy if she comes tomorrow (6/6/6 lol) but i really need some words of encouragemnet from you ladies!! please tell me if you were not dialted/effaced or anything and <bam> just went into labor, or had an induction scheduled and went on your own before, or weren't in a "favorable" positon to be induced but cervidil(or other) worked for you enough to get the pitocin and didn't end up in c-section, or did maybe just a regular internal exam seem to get things going (no memebrane sweep)... ANYTHING just to give me some kind of hope! (by the way, those who have had cervidil, did they administer it and you could go home or do you have to go/stay in the hospital?? i was slightly under the impression my doc might do this friday? to see if anything happens over the weekend before my induction, but he didn't seem to imply i would need to go/be in the hopital for this?? i guess i should have asked!) sorry so long, like always, but i really just need some words of wisdom right now...

 

Nita_ - June 5

Lindsay - sorry i won't be of any help with your questions. But I wanted to say 'hang in there and everything will be alright!' I've heard of people's birth stories (even here!) where they were scheduled for induction but then baby arrived on it's own. So you never know, so don't let your hopes down and all will be well. Take care!

 

lindsay - June 5

does anyone else have some happy stories to send my way??? thanks Nita_

 

Been There - June 5

Lindsay, I actually had a situation similar to yours with my last child. My cervix didn't even efface with the cervidil, although I did start contractions the next morning. You have to be in the hospital for the cervidil because it's a strong medicine and they need to watch you. But mine is still a happy story. Yes, I ended up with a c-section, which had never occurred to me as a possibility at the time. But I'll tell you what makes it a happy story. I still gave birth to a beautiful and very healthy baby girl. Please, instead of getting yourself worked up, which will only make it worse in your mind, think positive thoughts. I have seen you say that you just want the baby to get here healthy and safely. So, here's what should help you. Mentally prepare yourself for the possibility of the c-section, so that you won't feel shocked or unprepared. Then, if/when you deliver the way you want to, you'll be thrilled. The object is for you to have the best experience possible so you can enjoy your baby. I know you're nervous about the c-section, so maybe you could post a question about successful c-sections and it will make you feel better to hear those stories as well. Several of us have had no choice but to have one, but it all turned out just fine in the end. I'm sure things will work out great, no matter how you deliver. In the end, you'll have that little bundle of joy. YOU just have to keep that first and foremost in your mind, and the rest will follow. I'll be looking for your birth story. You can do it!

 

miraclebaby - June 5

lindsay, I know what your feeling, maybe this will help, just keep telling yourself that this needs to be done for the baby and it's not what I wanted, but at least I have the baby safe and sound at the end. I am scared too of labor, c-section, the thought of an epi not taking, but I quess we just have to be strong. Everything will work out and it will be ok. Oh, what about having intercourse will that help the cervix to be ready??? good luck and take care

 

Nerdy Girl - June 5

Lindsay, you have enough stress without freaking yourself out over a possible c-section. Like Been There said, you will end up with a beautiful baby, so the way that this baby comes into the world is irrelevant. I ended up having 2 c-sections. The first was a surprise, but went really smooth with no complications. The second had some minor complications, but in the big picture of things --- I have two gorgeous healthy children and no long term side-effects from my c-sections. I too really wanted to have v____al births, but obviously there was another plan in store for me. Try to relax and just focus on how wonderful it will be to finally hold your baby in your arms. Once that happens, you won't care about much else. Good luck!

 

lindsay - June 5

thanks for your all your words of encouragement, and i know you all are right and i truly feel the same way--whatever it takes! it's just that i truly worry about myself if this is what ends up happening... i can't even describe to you how bad the thought of a c-section stresses me out! i have horrible anxiety attacks over it! i'm sure so many women see c-sections as scary, but i think i have a phobia, not to be funny... it's not that i'm like "oh, i really want v____al, because that's what my body is supposed to do, and i don't want drugs, because women from the beginning of time have done it unmedicated..." i mean, i do feel that way , but that is not what drives me... i had a horrible epi-recovery, and i just wanted to try to avoid another invasive delivery this time, because i had such a hard time taking care of my baby i was in such bad shape, and now i'll have a newborn and 4 year old... i know there are no guarantees that even if i labored uninduced, unmedicated that i still wouldn't end up c-section for whatever reason, i just feel the odds are stacked against me right now... i really hate to be so pessimistic in such a time i should be so overwhelmed w/joy, but i am sick w/ worry. Been There, you are right, i have pretty much already told myself i am having a c-section so that if i don't i will be so happy (i do this w/ everything, expect the worst so i'm not so disappointed in the end--it's my defense mechanism !) and miraclebaby, sadly, i've been banned from s_x since the discovery of my placenta at around 20 weeks... let's just say i can't wait til my post-partum period is over with... i have some catching up to do ! again , thank you all for your input, but would also still like to hear anyone's experience similar to mine, that didn't end in c-section, just for a shred of hope and piece of mind! you all take care!!

 

lindsay - June 6

bump

 

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