This Could Of Not Happen At The Worst Time

11 Replies
renaye - December 26

hi all im 24 weeks and i have been under so much stress over the last 2 weeks -i just lost my baby brother at age 16 he took his own life it has been so hard on me and my familey every one has been telling me i have to look after baby but that was so hard when i cant think right, they will say sit down but when i did that all i could think about was my brother~ baby has not moved as much as it was before this happen i have not been eating much or slepping im so sad all the time i miss my brother but feel sorry for my unbon child has this happen to any of you how did you cope please help me im so lost and i feel empty

 

coco797 - December 26

oh hun! i am so sorry for you loss. I can't help you on this, but i wish i could give you a hug

 

MsMonet - December 26

RENAYE-Girl, I am so sorry to hear what has happened to you. May God bless and comfort you and your family during this time. Pls, be strong Renaye. I know that you are hurt but you've got to be strong for your baby, also. Your baby is dependant upon you. We want your baby to arrive here safe and sound with no complications. I don't know your baby brother but I am sure that he knows how much you love him and how much you are hurt but he would want you to continue living and taking care of your baby. There are so many bumps in the road when we travel this road called life. Believe me. I have had my share. Ya see, I did not meet my biological father til I was 15/16yrs old. Little did I know... He viewed me as a woman and not his child... He raped me repeadly and got me pregnant. I was always a person who was against abortion until that happened. I went and got an abortion and walked away from that crazy situation. Later in life,I married and had trouble getting pregnant ever since the repeated rapes. Even as a child, all I ever wanted was kids. I love kids and suddenly I had become a person who could not have them. I thought to myself. Why couldn't my father just love me as a daughter and nothing more? Why do I have to pay for what he did? I felt so empty yet angry. Finally, after praying and praying. God answered my blessings and gave me a double blessing. Twins. A Girl and A Boy! I am 32 weeks. :O) Sometimes when we walk through the storm we cannot see clearly but a__sume what may be ahead. Perhaps, we a__sume the worst... Perhaps, we begin to give up.... Not knowing that after the rain the sun always shines. Life isn't always fair but we have to keep walking. Little brother may have died but you have an ANGEL for life looking over you. He is no longer suffering mentally. He went back home to be with God and God is preparing to send another ANGEL down to be with you. God is trusting you to take care of his angel!!! Take care of your baby. Put the baby first. Imagine how much more stressed out you would be if something happened to your baby. I don't know you but I feel that you would. I've felt empty in a different way but as each day unfolds you have to strive to be stronger and stronger. Eat, take your vitamins and try and get some sleep. Write down your thoughts, if necessary. Pls, take care of your baby. There are so many women out there who would love to have a child but cannot for some reason. To have a child is a blessing, girl. You were one of the chosen ones. Take care of your blessing! :o) Pls, respond back and keep me posted! May God Bless You!

 

MsMonet - December 26

Also, I forgot to mention that I was also abused by my mother and her husband earlier in life. I tried to commit suicide on a few different occasion. Although, my reasons and situation were different. I do identify... Thank God I made it. It wasnt my time at those points in my life. I know that your brother is with God and he is watching over you. Pls, watch over your child now, RENAYE.

 

sarah21 - December 26

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. What awful timing! My brother was living with me, his wife was in prison, he had 3 little girls and his fourth was born to his wife in prison and came to live with us when she was 48 hours old. It was so hard to bond and connect with that sweet little girl. But I ended up being the closest with her. Again I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. All I can tell you is that it will get so painful that you won't think you can stand it. The pain and grief gets worse and worse and worse. Then, finally, it starts getting better. I promise it will get better. Don't worry about what everyone says you should be doing, do what you can. Eat when you can. Sleep when you can. Do the best you can and take comfort in that. And if you find that you are losing weight or the baby is seeming to be unhealthy, make sure you see your Dr. and see if they can do something to help.

 

linds99 - December 26

I am so so sorry to hear about your brother's pa__sing. I know someone personally that took their own life at a young age too and just hearing about it, and knowing him, that was tough. But I can't imagine what it would be like to have a sibling do this. I'm so sorry this happened to your family. That is just the hardest thing I think anyone pregnant could possibly deal with, especially being a sibling, you probably have the instinct to try to be strong for your parents too on top of it. So what about you? What about how you feel? Those are questions that probably won't be verbalized because everyone wants you to worry about the baby. And you should, they are right, but the truth is, you probably need to talk about it as much as possible and let every emotion you have surface and be verbalized. The grieving process takes on many colors with time, and you being pregnant, that will delay alot of your emotions that would naturally come out. I would suggest never allowing yourself to cry and grieve to the point where you stop eating, sleeping, and or depression starts taking over the entire day. It is true that sadness and stress do get pa__sed on to the baby to, as stress releases negative chemicals in the body that pa__s through the placenta. Me not being a psychologist, only some pregnant lady who has had stress in my pregnancy, I would suggest seeing someone you trust outside the family, maybe a professional, to help you collect your thoughts and verbalize them. Someone to listen to you and your pain, allow you to release it. I so wish you the best of luck with your family and baby. Nobody deserves this to happen to their family, I hope for healing for everyone.

 

renaye - December 26

hi guys THANKS SO MUCH it is so mice to know that there are real people out there who do care MS~MONET your story is so so sad im sorry that happen to you ~ what you have all said i have saved in my mind it will keep me strong and help me get over this hard time thanks so so much to you all xxx

 

val_jo - December 27

Renaye--I know exactly what you are feeling. I am currently 28 weeks, but 3 weeks ago tomorrow, one of my very good friends was shot and killed by her ex-husband--he then shot and killed himself. I was in a complete state of shock and numbness. I had no idea how to grieve or what to do or how to go on without her, but I knew I had to for my baby. I went through the whole not eating, sleeping thing, and then I realized that she may be gone, but I am still here and doing that was only causing harm to my son. I still wake up in the middle of the night, I still break down and cry, but I try to remember to take care of myself first. I know she is sad she won't be here to see him, but I know she wouldn't want me to deprive myself of what I need at her expense. Feel free to talk anytime you want to, I'm still in shock just like you. Trust that God will heal your heart and your brother will always be with you--you will make it. Take care of that baby!!!!

 

sarah21 - December 27

Wow it helps if you proofread before you post. What I forgot to mention is that 3 days before my last niece was born my father pa__sed away. That would probably help my story to make more sense. Sheesh! Get a clue Sarah! Lol.

 

mary_ln - December 31

My husband and I were doing foster care for a 18month-old girl for the past 6 months, and her mother was being very inconsistent with her visits. We made a decision at the beginning of taking the girl in that we would love her like she was our own. She called us mommy and daddy, we were her first family, she had never had a dad, and she was truly our daughter. However, her bio-mom began to show interest again and just this month she got her back for a 60-day trial. This has, and is, the greatest loss we have ever been through. While I know that our little girl is still alive, I have no guarantee if she is safe and if we will ever be able to see her again. I cry every day, or night, and just want my little baby back. But, people keep telling me that I need to focus on the coming of our son, which I know is true, but all I can think about is my baby girl. I don't think a day will go by when I don't miss her or when I won't cry just to hold her in my arms again. I really have no advice except that we can simply focus on today. I know that today I will survive and I will think about what my son will need. When tomorrow comes, I will think about it. I also know that I couldn't get through this without my God. He says that He has great plans for my life and for the life of our previous daughter, and for your life, renaye. It is really hard though when things happen that are out of our control. Even when I think about my soon-to-be baby I almost feel guilty for not thinking about my baby girl. I don't know if you feel like that, but it has been really hard for me to get excited about this pregnancy. However, when my son gets here I know that my love for him will be just as great as the love I have for our other little girl...

 

MsMonet - December 31

Girls- Just wanted to share an inspirational New Years Message. Title - Just keep walking! "WE GET KNOCKED DOWN, BUT WE GET UP AGAIN AND KEEP GOING" 2 CORINTHIANS 4:9 (NLT) Pastor Mark Coleman’s son, Peter, inherited his dad’s love for hiking. When he was just five years old, the two planned to hike around a mountain and camp beside the lake. Mark told his son it would be a tough hike. He said they’d be tired, but they’d have to keep walking in order to make it to camp before dark. But it was even longer and harder than they expected. The little boy grew weary – but he kept walking. He slipped on loose rocks – but he kept going. He fell and ripped the knee of his jeans – but he kept walking. Finally, after one slip too many, he sat down on a big rock and started to cry. As his dad approached and began to talk, Peter cut him off, saying, ‘I know, Dad. It’s okay to cry – as long as I just keep walking!’ Paul says, ‘We are pressed on every side but not crushed and broken God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up and keep going. We don’t look at the troubles we can see right now we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come last forever’ (2 Corinthians 4:8-9,18 NLT). Today if your journey’s long and hard, it’s okay to stop and rest (or even cry), just as long as you keep walking! ‘How?’ you ask. By ‘…keeping [your] eyes on Jesus…from start to finish…’ (Hebrews 12:2 NLT). Allow Him to be your example, your inspiration, and your greatest motivator. --Hope this inspires everyone to keep walking forward no matter what we experience. Keep the faith and keep believing. I have been through so much as have many of you. I got angry, cried and began to doubt, at times but I always got up and continued walking.Through the fibroids and through infertility and now, I am due with twins soon... A boy and a girl... They will be here in about 4 weeks. :o) Keep on walking, girls!

 

Gemini_Girl - January 2

Hi Renaye Im so sorry to hear about your brother, I lost my sister in 2000, she was 15 and also took her own life, it was such a struggle for me to get on with my life I was 19 at the time but time is a healer things will never be the same but you just need to take a day at a time and live your life, she was the only sister I had and sometimes I feel empty without that bond, i feel lonely, I know my baby wont be a replacement but I feel as if it may fill a void and i will love it so much, I can only imagine how hard it must be being pregnant and having to deal with this at the same time, my heart goes out to you

 

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