Trust Issues With Friends

9 Replies
bree_n_liseys_mommy - January 23

Hi i know this off the topic but, i have a one year old daughter a married mutaul friend of ours always asks if she can take my daughter to her apt. its not far but i dont trust her. i barley started allowing her to go out with my mother MY MOTHER!! So i dont know what to say and not be rude so instead im silent ...... i know they are trying to have a baby.... and figured it would be so easy because he has two other daughters with two other ladys. .......... even though they were not planned. i'm excited for them trying but it's hard for me to trust her.

 

vanja10 - January 23

What's so hard about saying no?? But wow, this post was hard to read.. :) no punctuations, it's hard to see where one sentence ends and another begins.. Anyways, why would ur friend want to take your daugther to her appointments? If it was me, i would just answer with Naaaah, I like to take my daughter to her appointments. That should stop her cold in her tracks.

 

tiphanai - January 23

i think by apt. bree mean apartment... bree if i were you, i would just admit that it's hard for you to let your daughter go out without you. but maybe you could take baby steps, let her go for an hour or so. It would probably be good for you, and good for baby. Better to get used to it now before school starts and you have no choice! :-)

 

SaraH - January 23

. I would just say something like "I'm sure she'd be fine w/ you and I really appreciate that you want to take her for a while, but honestly, I'm such a worrier I can barely let her out the door w/ my own mother without freaking out. If you like though, I'd love for you to spend some time with her/us so maybe we could all go to the park/shopping/lunch on Saturday?" That way you could see how she is w/ your daughter and maybe become more comfortable w/ the idea ---and if you find that she is really good w/ your daughter; that you do think she's trustable, then maybe you could consider letting her baby sit or take your daughter out on occasion. As it sounds like it would be good for to become a little "less attached" too. : o)

 

Gretta - January 23

Trust your instincts ! Just laugh and say you aren't ready for babysitters yet and haven't cut the cord to make her feel better but if you feel uneasy don't do it.

 

MAT - January 23

As a parent, you have to listen to your instincts. The question is "why are you uncomfortable?". If it is just being over-protective in general, then you need to decide when you are ready to relax. If you don't like the way your friend interacts with your child or do not think your friend is responsible enough, then don't send your child over. Personally, if it is a friend, I would go over with them and hang out. I would let them handle the baby and play, but I would supervise until I felt comfortable with them. If they aren't really friends, I would just say "no thank you" and leave it at that.

 

nanders - January 23

I agree with mat, if your'e not sure it may be for a reason. And there is nothing wrong with you going too! Why don't you suggest doing stuff together. My dh and I had trouble conceiving, and really we know nothing about kids so I understood when my friends didn't fully trust me with their babies! They were very good at including us in things and it really helped us to learn some stuff! There is no harm in going to or doing other things together! just so you can supervise, this can even be done without your friend ever knowing. And if ti comes down to it, just say no. She is your daughter and if god forbid something did happen, you are there to protect her!

 

vanessa220207 - January 23

you should not allow this to happen... what is so hard in saying no? besides she will ask for more things if you give in to this one, you will find it harder to say no in the future which will do you no good. Plus if you dont trust her, then, that should be reason for you to still say NO!

 

Jadejewels - January 23

just say no and if she is really your friend then she'll understand. I don't like sending my children to other people's homes and I am not shy to express the way I feel when it comes to the situation. They're your kids and if you feel so strongly about something then I say always go with your gut instinct. And I didn't find your post hard to read either :0)

 

zay28 - January 23

Bree never left your dd with anybody that you don't trust. You can easy say no. I preffer somebody be mad at me and not expose my dd to an abuse. You never know.

 

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