Unattractive Boring And Tired Nesting

10 Replies
Aud1441 - June 28

Lately I feel so down. I am constantly working at my job which keeps me busy for a long time, but I am always thinking about money, the baby, and how to manage a new born. This will be my first baby and I am recently married. We didnt buy a house because I was pregnant and needed the money for the pregnancy and bills. I am now wanting to be in a house so bad! Our apartment is very large we have an extra bedroom and a bathroom, but I feel the need to constantly move up in life. I cant settle down! I am overly stressed about my maternity leave and the money we need to save up for that. My work will give me 12 weeks unpaid which is great! 12 weeks! but we have to save up the money for that 12 weeks too which is difficult. My husband is constantly asking me about the bills, and how I need to calm down and just focus on the day to day needs. I am not like that though. I have also realized that my pregnancy has gotten really boring. the baby moves, and its exciting, but after a while you just want somethign to happen. I want to have this baby. I feel so ugly, unatractive, and I cant do anything! I cant swim without feeling gross, I cant bake in the sun to get a tan... its like I feel inclosed to be bored unattractive and to sleep all day! Is this a stage of pregnancy?? or am I loosing my head! I know its common for pregnant women to want everything to be done for the baby, and that is nesting... But is this something in my head that I can fix? Can I avoid feeling this way? or do I have another 13 weeks to feel this way!

 

livdea - June 28

sounds like you need to take a time out for yourself and get in check!! Its normal to feel stress about $$ and being a new mom! That's just gonna be! But you can still take care of yourself and feel good about YOU! I know how hard it is to feel "attractive" while being pregnant...I think we all do! but every time I get that feeling I do something for myself! Take an hour or so and paint my nails, put lotion on, get my hair done. Why are you unable to lay out in the sun? I just got in from the yard! My dr gave me orders to lay out for a bit each day! And it helps me! I lay out for about a half hour-45 minutes when I can handle it, I'm tanner and feel GREAT. I have a ma__sage set up for friday to release some tension and on particulary bad days I take time and DO my hair and makeup. I swear, those little things make the world of difference for me! And swimming...feels SO GOOD! The only place I DON'T feel pregnant! Even in a too tiny bikini that I wear, I could care less if my fat thighs are hanging out and my b___ts all jiggly! It feels GOOD to ME! I think you have to change your mind set!! Start seeing yourself as attractive, look in the mirror and notice how round your belly is and how full your b___sts are! Just enjoy it! I know I know, its hard and maybe I'm not helping, but if you don't start seeing the positive side of it it's going to kill you!!! Keep your head up, once baby is here, nothing will be boring and everything will be new! Good Luck!!

 

Aud1441 - June 28

I try to make time for myself. I think my work and my schedule is just the same very day, so its hard to feel like I can get anything done. I work full time hours, and sometimes overtime, so its hard to schedule time just for myself. I take walks, and I go outside and go shopping... but it still seems like something is missing. Maybe because half of my work is filled with women who tell me my belly has grown day by day. I dont know! I am completely comfortable with my self esteem, and I love who I am and how big my heart is, but maybe the emotions are getting to me too much. My doctor will let me get sun, but as far as laying by the pool is just uncomfortable... My back has a lot of problems so anything that has me laying on my back or standing for long periods of time hurts. My doctor wont let me get a ma__sage either. He said its not recommended to have one. I looked into it, but I didnt schedule anything because of his advice. First time mom I guess I just dont know how I am suppose to act or feel. Thanks for your advice though. I will try harder to look at the brighter side of this long 9 months!

 

Sophia - June 28

Basically, you can do anything except for drinking and smoking! You can walk, swim, do make-up and pamper yourself, go out on the beach, go to the gym, to the mall, to a park, ... the list goes on!

 

Erynn21 - June 29

I don't know about your doc. but mine is all about having a ma__sage from someone who can do pregnancy ma__sage, it would make your back feel so much better. I agree with livdea, getting out and doing something for yourself is great I just had a pedicure(I have one once a month) my feet are pretty and that makes me feel pretty. I have been out in the sun I spent 3 hours @ the beach the other day and I'm tan and feel great. I also feel good swimming, it takes the weight off my body, which feels so nice. I also have some advice for you about the bills etc.. Yes you want to pay your bills, but life does not revolve around that, I understand the worry, but all that does is stress you out, you have to remember all that stress is affecting your baby, babies can feel that stress in the womb. I have grown a lot with my hubby through our marriage(10yrs) we have struggled our b___ts off, but he always had the mantra of things will be okay, here I am @ 31 pg w/ my first and I'm not stressed because I know things may suck at times, but if you have a loving, supportive family that will help you get though whatever rough patches in life you come to. I know this may be too positive, but soon you're going to have a beautiful baby to love and add to your family and that's something a million ppl would give all their riches in life for, you can see them on other threads on this site. Good luck and try to do something for yourself, and I would ask why a ma__sage is not good for you, maybe your doc. just doesn't like any alternative therapies or does he have a medically specific reason for this.

 

fefer1 - June 29

I just got married a little over a year ago, got pregnant 9 months later, work part time so I can finish school and my husband pays child support for 3 other children and we bought a house in May, gutted it and are in the process of remodeling it. We have bills...but I quite stressing about them and what I'm going to do when I have the baby ( I won't work for a few months). I know what it's like to want more space because I demanded we buy a house once I found out I was pregnant (I was very hormonal). I would recommend waiting...it's just a house and the baby isn't going to care. :) What matters is that you and your husband are going to have a beautiful baby to love and who will love you. If you're stressing, get some more rest, take a walk, take care of yourself! It's really important!! I had to learn to relax and to take things a day at a time and to make ME important. I feel so much more relaxed, minus the boredom I have at the moment and the fears of being a mom that are starting to settle in! :) I also go out in the sun (with sunscreen), swim and just laugh at my bigness. Most people I talk to think it's cute to be so big. :) They are always interested in the baby and how I'm doing and such. I personally enjoy the big b___sts! I'm going to miss them when they are gone so I'm enjoying to the fullest for now! Hang in there!

 

Aud1441 - June 29

Thank you for all the replies. Its at some point hard to read others who love to be big and love to have all the joys of being pregnant. I find it hard to completely say I enjoy it, but I understand the complete feeling when you have something growing inside you. Its great to read about the self esteem and great thoughts you all have about pregnancy. maybe I am just constantly thinking about my weight, money, and the hormonal stage of pregancy. its been a rough ride thats for sure! Its somewhat encouraging to know about all the fun things many women do while they are pregnant. Although I have less time to do most of the things you all listed with my work hours, but I will really try to figure out some space between my schedule to fit something for myself in. Thanks for all the replies.

 

Rebekah B - June 29

When finances get out of control, it is difficult to focus on the blessings we have. Go to financialpeace.com and print off his free forms for creating a budget. Do it today. Once you lay everything out on paper, it will be easier to have things in perspective. His course is great, but let’s start with the basics. Do an online search for free/volunteer financial planers (not debt consolidation) someone who can help get you on track. We all have to start somewhere. You will eventually be able to “move up in life,” but for now, let’s focus on getting control of life. You have to control your money; you can’t let it control you. As for feeling like you look gross, that is all mental and goes along with just being down in general. Swim anyway! Those thighs are better off when they are being exercised. Look at consignment shops, ebay, ask friends for maternity clothes that make you feel pretty and accentuate the things you love about yourself. There must be something. Do your hair and make-up. Put some extra effort into making yourself look good and it will do wonders for how you feel about yourself. Just a few more months and then you can really take control and get the body you want. Use this energy for good. I know you don’t want to hear it, but you really do have to take one day at a time whether you are that type of person or not. There is nothing you can do to change tomorrow YET! Just do what you can right now. I really hope things look up for you.

 

Aud1441 - June 29

I work at a credit union so its easy for me to manage money, just as of now I feel like there is so much to buy still, and so much I want for my new baby. I am a very happy person. I manage our finances just fine, I think I might just be making it a bigger deal to get things done before its too late. Half of that reason is because it hurts to move. I feel big, and have less energy than before. I work all the time, so my time is dedicated to putting together a nursery and managing our budget. It works out nicely, but I think I just need to lay off the worrying and go to the zoo, or swim like everyone else suggests.

 

ARD - June 29

Aud, I wanted to reply to say that you're having a little bit of the blues before the baby comes - and its so natural to be that way because you want to have everything done, purchased, and put together....but sometimes it just isn't possible to have it all, and besides, a lot of the really neat stuff I have wanted for my baby, my sister got but didn't even use with her new baby (well she's almost 9 mths.), so what I'm saying is what you think you may really NEED right now, you really may not. As long as you have the basics, you're good to go!!! As far as feeling unattractive, well, I feel ya there...but today, I went for an appt. to have my hair done....a new cut and highlight! Its ADORABLE...my hair was longer, past my shoulders, and I got it cut just a little above my shoulders with blonde and caramel highlights. I feel like a NEW person!! So, go get your hair done!!! :o) I didn't think my dh would like it because he's all about longer hair, but I walked in (and he actually didn't even know I was getting my hair done today), and he was like WOW, LOVE THE HAIR!! I got about 10 compliments & kisses from him before he left for work this afternoon. Made me feel sooo good!! I can't afford to go have my nails done, pedicures, ma__sages, etc., so I set aside a little to have that hair appt. It was nice and I feel much better about myself!! And I myself have not enjoyed pregnancy as much as some of these others on the forum. I had terrible morning sickness for the first 4 mths, in the hospital with dehydration, and just miserable, and now that I'm farther along, that's gone, I am feeling well, just tired. I have enjoyed it more these last few months just because of feeling her inside, but now I'm bored to death with being pregnant and ready for her arrival. I do have more time on my hands as I am a teacher and we're out for the summer. But I do know where you're coming from. Cheer up and know it will all be over with soon and you'll be so thrilled to hold that little one in your arms. :o)

 

Rebekah B - June 30

Aud1441: I see what you are saying. I get the same way with the finances (worrying when I really don't need to). I guess I misunderstood your original post. There are so many unknowns with pregnancy that it is easy to get wrapped around the cord. The girls are right as far as doing a little something to relax you. Best wishes for a peaceful 3rd trimester. Ard: I did the same thing with my hair about a month ago. Now I like to get pedicures, but I try to limit it to 1 a month to save the cash. I think this month I am going for the ma__sage!

 

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