What If My Baby Doesnt Like Me

6 Replies
Cassie06 - June 5

I dont know why but this has been worrying me a lot lately. I am due in the beginning of August, and go back to classes the end of August. My classes are only on Tuesday and Thursday and the rest of the week I will be at home with the baby. But my MIL will have the baby the days I am in school, and I am worried he will like her more than me. When I was young my mom went back to work and left me at home with my grandma (my dad's mom) during the day. My grandma was a typical grandma, she taught me a lot but she also let me get by with a lot more than my mom would. I remember and my mom remembers when she would come to pick me up and take me home I would scream and cry and tell her I hated her and that she wasnt my mom, that my grandma was. When my dad would get home that evening I would stay with him all night until bedtime, then get up early the next morning and get myself ready (at 2 years old) so I could go back to mommaws. Me and my mom get along well now but have always had a rocky relationship, and even though I live 3 hours away from my grandma I still go see her about once a month and call her every week, sometimes more often than I call my own mom. My mom never did anything to me to make me dislike her like that when I was young, so I am terrified I will have the same problem with my baby. Does anyone else have these kinds of fears? Any suggestions??

 

Atarahsmommy - June 5

I can't exactly relate to your situation, I never had anything like that when I was young, and I will be watching my baby, but I do sometimes get a fear that the baby will like other people more than me (though I know it wont be like that) I even had a dream like that, that the baby wanted my MIL and not me. I think it comes from the idea thaI have with babies, I love babies but when they cry its because they want their mom's and that isn't me and so I give the baby to its mom, and I guess I just haven't completly grasped the idea that I will be the mom, when something is wrong, I will be the one that the baby wants, I don't think I helped you with your problem but your not alone in your fears (although mine are somewhat different than yours)

 

miraclebaby - June 5

Mother in law watched my first baby with me, and my baby was still attached to me DONT WORRY

 

Mingill - June 5

I haven't experienced this, but I wouldn't worry about it too much, if it is bothering you have a talk with your MIL. Ask her to use the same rules and modes of discipline as you use and to not let the child get away with anything you wouldn't. It's the same united front philosophy you use in any environment where there are 2 caregivers.

 

ReneeM - June 5

I would talk to your MIL and get on the same page about disipline, schedules, naptimes, feedings, etc. But she is only going to be watching your baby 2 days a week, right? You will still have 5 other days and nights with your precious baby! Not to mention the other 2 evenings you have after cla__ses. Don't worry about it, I am sure you will bond with your baby and he will love you. I stayed with my grandma (my mom's mother) a lot. When I was a year old, my mom went back to work full time, and I stayed with my grandma 5 days a week from there until I started school. Then after school, I would get off the bus at their house and stay in the afternoons. I would even spend the nights with them some on the weekends. I loved being with my grandma and she took me everywhere, but I also loved it when my mom would come and pick me up, I missed her. I also loved it when she had days off and I would get to spend the day with her. My point is, even though I was very close to my grandma and loved her, i still was close to my mom and loved spending time with her. Your baby will always know who his mother is!

 

mishy - June 7

I worried about this with my first when he went into day care..but don't worry at all.. you are the mum, you are the voice baby hears, even now while you are pregnant, you are the smell, the touch, the cuddles, the love.. sure there will be days when you are the "fun one" or the favourite.. but you are the Mum and NO ONE can take that away from you.. just the fact that you are worrying about this shows how much you will care and love your little one.. very best of luck to you.. :)

 

MichelleB - June 7

I had a similar relationship with my grandma, right up until she died. My mom and me have never been that tight, and I was always closer to grandma, but I believe that was more my moms fault, not that I am attacking your mom, but I think my moms actions led me to find confort with grandma. I feared the same when my baby was born. Breastfeeding was frusterating for both of us, and he ALWAYS cried when he came to me, and never with anyone else, which happens a lot because babies mostly cry when they are hungry, which means they are always given to you...it breaks your heart. Now that bab yis 10 months old, I definately dont worry about this anymore. I actually looked forward to Separation anxiety, but now I cannot so much as look the other way and he gets upset.....so babies definately know their mommy. Good luck

 

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