What Unexpected Emotions Have You Had

8 Replies
JennyC - February 23

OK, last night, I went home and threw myself on the bed and balled because I didn't want to be a mom. (I'm 36 weeks with my first). I had seen some pictures of my husband and I on all our backpacking and hiking trips and just felt like when this little one comes along, all of that is going to be over. In fact, that's all been over since about September because we just moved from San Diego to Minnesota (primarily we moved for the baby) and the cold weather and my pregnancy has kept us indoors since then. I'm about to go stir crazy!!! I never expected to have that strong of a feeling about not wanting my baby, and then I felt terribly guilty because its not her fault. Now that I've calmed down some, I realize that we will still be able to do outdoorsy stuff, and it may even be more fun with a little one to enjoy it with, but last night, I felt like my life was OVER! Don't worry, this morning, I want my baby again and am very excited to be a mom. I was wondering if anyone else has been overcome with strange feelings like that, or any other unexpected emotions?

 

Kel - February 23

Jenny - I am right there with you (I live in Wisconsin so I can sympathize with you on the cold weather) The other day my husband had to run to the vet to get some meds for our dog and I was like why don't you pick something up for dinner. He said he would just find somethind around the house (I had a terrible cold and wasn't going to cook anything). So of course instead of opening my big mouth and saying, well get something for me. I just let him leave. Well he came home and ate and of course I just sat there and pouted on the couch. Then I finally went into the kitchen to make something to eat and I seriously sat there and cried cause there wasn't anything I wanted to eat. I've also creid alot at the beginnnig when I couldn't find any maternity pants (I have long legs so I was having a hard time finding them long enough.), My Mon and I had went shopping and she was telling me all these things looked fine one me and I went home and cried to my dh saying that my Mom wanted me to look stupid with short pants. ITs funny now when I think about it. Ok...this was a long post...sorry!

 

JennyC - February 23

Kel - it is funny when you look back on it, but at the time, it seems like the biggest, most important thing in the world and why doesn't anyone else understand?? I've also surprised myself with how negative I have been feeling the last few weeks. I had such a positive att_tude this whole pregnancy, but now I feel like I'm constantly whining, or crying, or depressed, or upset, or something. That's just not like me and it surprised me.

 

rk - February 23

I've been freaking out because I don't think I will be a good mother. I tend to drop things which really makes me nervous and I haven't been around newborns at all! Luckily my Mil was a nurse in the pediatric unit so I can always go to her for advice. I'm still a nervous wreck!!

 

MeM - February 23

I noticed the other night that all I do is worry. I'ms cared if the baby doesn't kick and when he kicks I'm worried well what if he doesn't come out perfect. I'm scared that there is something wrong all the time, I knwo the worrying isn't good but I can't hlep it. If it's not one thing it's another, I can't wait to meet my baby boy but for some reason I can't get it out of my head it'll never happen and when and if it does something will be wrong. Probably because this is my first and I don't know what to expect. I'm curretnly 33 weeks, I think it's just natural to feel this way! :)

 

Girl Gilly - February 23

Jenny C. I think what you are feeling is normal. I haven't had any huge swings of emotion but I can tell you that I am very grumpy these days (as you can probably tell from some of my posts!). I think that is because of lack of good sleep. However, I do feel at times that my life is changing and there will be no more ME. Once the baby comes I will be MOM. Sometimes it gets hard to remember why we wanted to get pregnant in the first place. But then my husband will do something like hang the ultrasound pictures of the baby up in his office because he is so excited. It's those times that I get so excited and realize that it is all worth it. Don't feel bad about your emotions, it's best to get let them out and have a good cry and move on.

 

mel - February 23

I went thru a bit of an ident_ty crisis when I had my son. I was all confident and knew who I was and what I was about and then all of sudden all of that changed. now I was MOM? wtf? then I began to realize that I was the same old person I always was....just with an additoinal hat. aside from that.....I completely know where you're coming from with the emotional thing. it's like you're going along good and life is great and then suddenly something gets triggered and BLAMO you're an emotional wreck for a bit. isn't it the weirdest thing?

 

redhead mary - February 23

I remember when i was about 34 weeks with my first....( hes 5 1/2 now)... I had the worst night of my life...found out my man was cheating with a very young girl, etc etc.. and i just sat in my bathroom and cried for hours telling god i couldnt have this baby... that i didnt want it now... it was the most traumatic event in my life... I was suddenly bringing a baby boy into the world with no daddy....Right up to the second i saw him i was completely terrified.... But the instant i heard him cry and saw him ... how perfect he was... It all went away. Every bad thought and feeling i had was washed away !!! I cant even picture life without my little man... You know Jenny i brought my son everywhere with me... concerts with ear plugs... camping...hiking( front and back carriers for babies)good tents... .. You can and will do everything you used to do... Youll just adapt to doing it with a little person...Life will go on but with alot more love and uh maybe at alot slower pace....lol.... My pregnancy this time has been wonderful. I hope youre feeling better today.....

 

JennyC - February 23

thanks everybody. Today has been better on the emotial front. Thanks for your encouraging words. I hope we can all find this kind of support during post-pardum, because I'm thinking that if I'm this moody during pregnancy, PPD is a definite possibility. Just gotta keep my eyes open to the symptoms and try to get out there and keep in contact with everybody.

 

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