Attn Mums Who Have Been Through New Baby Amp Toddler Dilemmas

8 Replies
K8 - March 14

I gave birth to my second child 10 days ago and since his arrival i am having great difficulties getting my 20 month old to take her naps during the day and heaps of trouble getting her off to bed at night. I understand she is almost a 'terrible two' so some behavioural problems are bound to be popping up but this business started the exact day we bought baby home....She normally sleeps 3 hrs during the day and then a good 10 - 12 hrs at night (yes she is a great sleeper like Mummy:) Any ideas on how to get her to stop screaming for an hour every night at bedtime?

 

K8 - March 14

I forgot to mention she is fine while we read a book in bed and talk but as soon as i try to leave (or daddy) she screams bloody murder...is it a bad habit for me to stay with her untill she is asleep? She has also been waking in the night and screaming if we try to leave after settling her?????? HELP

 

yumymumy - March 14

has she always wanted you to stay until shes asleep?. maybe she is acting like this because she knows it isnt just her around anymore and she feels like shes going to miss out on something?.. does she see your newborn awake when she has to go to bed?

 

J.J. - March 14

K8- you didn't say how your husband fits in the equation w/sleep routine in the evening (i'm just a__suming he's gone during the day). Daytime was easy for me b/c i was on maternity leave so my 2 yr old son continued going to daycare. But in the evening, when husband and son returned, I'd immediately hand over the baby and make a big show of giving my son undivided attention. Maybe you can try this when your husband gets home....just spend time alone w/your daughter and stretch out the bed routine of reading a book, so she feels like she's not always sharing mom? Just a thought. I think most every kid acts out in this situation. Our son continued sleeping but for about a month he would throw a temper tantrum at the drop of a hat.

 

in the woods - March 16

Congrats with the new baby!! I remember that for the first "newborn" months (up to 3 month) there were not much trouble with the day naps (dd was 19 mo old when the baby was born). The baby slept a lot and did not mind even the vacuum cleaner close by, so the nap routine that may have been noisy, was the same. Later, the baby's nap became the first priority, I didn't want to make a noise cajoling dd, so (being close to the terrible twos helped that, too) she got to take a nap whenever she wanted - at first the nap time slid to 5pm, and eventually, by 2.5, the naps disappeared completely. The bedtime wasn't much of a problem, if she didn't have a nap, she'd be very tired and ready, and if she had a late nap, she'd go to bed well past the baby's bedtime, it didn't disturb him. It seems a bit of a mess, but there will be some messiness with little kids.

 

in the woods - March 16

So basically I'm saying I let her get tired to the point when she dropped down asleep. Sounds crazy, but she was not the only child anymore. If it is understood that a single baby changes his mother's life to pieces, and a single toddler can test your limits to no end, - then a baby AND a toddler is a yet another step above and beyond. Don't worry that some rules and routines that you knew before go to pieces again - you are not just a mother with a baby, or a mother with a toddler, you are a mother of two now!!!!

 

K8 - March 17

Thanks so much ladies, Yummy Mummy she used to go to sleep fine on her own after i read her a book and tucked her in????? And i have been trying to put baby to bed a good half hour before her bed time but some days when he is whingy that just doesnt happen :) J.J - my husband is on a months paternity leave so he is home with us for now. We are trying our best to make dd get lots of extra special attention and she seems to be adjusting so well, just bed time is tedious :) In The Woods - thanks for the congrats :) I have tried in the last few days to shorten her daytime nap and that seems to be helping a bit thanks- the thing is she has always been the type of kid that never winds down when she is tired, she will just keep going and going untill we put her to bed, also if she is over tired or skips the daytime nap altogether then the night is hell with her waking lots and just getting agitated.....i guess illl just have to wait and see if this tantrum at bedtime wears off as she adjusts but its relieving to know that it is normal for her to play up at bedtime :) i guess if thats all we are in for then we are quite lucky :) thanks again everyone

 

in the woods - March 17

My dd was/is of high energy, too, so I started enrolling her to different sport cla__ses since she was 30 months old (swimming with parents first). Maybe that type of activity could help your dd release her energy? Mine needed her sleep though without over-stepping into the over-tired territory. I guess you have to do that very boring calming slow ritual - bath, book, quiet music, whatever it takes to calm her down.

 

K8 - March 17

yes the slow calming ritual seems like the way to go. The sport cla__ses also sound like a great idea, thanks heaps :) Ill keep my fingers crossed that she settles back into herself soon

 

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