Help With 2 Year Old

10 Replies
jennyr - May 20

Ok we went to the Dells this weekend and she was horrible. Crabby did not sleep at all. We got home and she was great until today. Nothing but trandram after trandrum. I dodn't kno why! She woke up last night and I went in there changed her and put her right back in her crib. She cried and screamed for over and hour and then fianlly went back to sleep. Nothing works with disapline. Time outs yelling at her corecting her nothing. What is going on. Why is she being like this and how do I stop from going insane! Please HELP!

 

lin7604 - May 20

ahhhh...... the terrible two's!!!! My ds is starting this and he is almost 19 months. I have a heack of a time grocery shopping, etc with him. He screaches all the time in a store, spits and throws temper tantrums. i hope it is a short phase and i hope it's just b/c they are learning to expree how they fell cause they can't say it! Maybe for your it was too over whelming being there adn now is the time to adjust. We went to mexico in Jan for 2 weeks and it took my ds ( was 14.5 months at the time) 1 month to adjust being at home again. He also cried at night, etc I thought he would of been happy to be back in his own bed again..... i guess it is harder for them to figure things like that out.

 

jenniferjo - May 21

My 2 year old has the terrible two's as well. Everyone even doc says to just ride it out. I'd sure like to send my dd to his house for a week! DD will sleep well at my mom's, ok at inlaws, but not at all at home. I'm 11w pg with our 2nd and doc says stress isn't good and I need to limit it as much as possible. Hubby in charge of bedtime as a result. Tonight he tried for 20 minutes then gave up and let her stay up. Bedtime is at 9. I tried until just now and was ready to beat her. Literally! I'm not a violent person, and don't have a temper, but I had to leave the room because I was afraid I'd be too rough if I spanked her. Its truly scary to feel this way and I can't stop crying now even as I write this. Hubby laid down with her in our bed where she's been for over 6 months now because of these tantrums. He says he can't stay up with her because he has to be up at 6, but I'm to stay up all night, every night and get up at 8 every morning! She's given up naps half the week so I'm lucky to get a nap every other day. I slept over 12 hours each day that she was at grandma's because I've been so tired. Thankful I don't work outside the home other than part time a few days a month! Any suggestions would be appreciated before they reserve a padded cell for me! Sorry for the venting, I'm just at my witts end here.

 

Justine1 - May 22

Jennyr - Sorry you're having a hard time. Can your DD talk much - it becomes easier when they can tell you whats wrong at least. I hope things get better. My DD is 2 and she has the odd tantrum (though is pretty good for a 2 year old). If she does have a tantrum I ask her what the matters is and she tells me - normally she wants milk or something - and I tell her she doesn't need to scream if she wants milk, she just needs to say Mummy, milk please. Then if she says that I'll get her the milk. She generally seems to get the message and normally will just ask for something. If she were to start having tantrums a lot I'ld ignore them but tell her I was ignoring them until she asked nicely. She also is quite responsive to persuasion - like she didn't want to get out of the car so I said to her we need to get out of the car to give your (toy) dog a drink of water. She then couldn't get out of the car fast enough, trouble was we had to then give the dog some of our cat's water - lol! Though bedtimes are an issue for us which we have to solve, sometimes persuasion works - if you go to bed now you can go to nursery tomorrow as she loves nursery - but sometimes it doesn't and she isn't great at sleeping through or going to bed. I think partly thats as DH has the TV on and she prefers entertainment - I think we need to take all the entertainment away and insist on 9pm and eventually she'll get that - in theory! JenniferJo - So sorry you've got problems, its so hard when you're pregnant as well, I have a 1 year old too. We had lots of nights at grandmas for the eldest and both grandma and my DD loved it. My husband gets up at 6 and helps with the children every night and as you are pregnant as well I definitely think it would be reasonable to ask your husband to help more at night. We have the same problem at night so I'm not much help, sorry, I think taking entertainment away helps, insisting on 9pm and not making exceptions is supposed to help - maybe some type of nighttime routine would help like your husband putting her to bed and reading her a story. Good luck and if you find that nighttime solution we need it too please!

 

Justine1 - May 22

JenniferJo - Just thought might be worth asking you Mom exactly what she does at night to get your DD to sleep that well and then trying the same. Or even getting her over one night to help if she's willing to do that.

 

lin7604 - May 22

maybe they are just plain old Over Tired! Jenniferjo, i think since your's is inbetween giving up naps that is playing out on this alot. I think Ot is a big factor, i would start bedtime alot earlier on the days she doesn't nap ( by the way how does she go down for naps when she does nap?) and this way if she refuses to sleep hopefully after awhile when she finally gives in it will still be at a decient time. I think it may take a week or two to get it under wraps but once she is caught up on her sleep she won't have such a difficult time. I know my ds when he gets OT, it can be a battle some days then i know he is OT and we start bedtime earliers for a while adn then it's all better again. sleep is so important to them under age 5, also maybe you should see how much she is sleeping in a 24 hr peroid, as it should be atleast 12 hrs for that age.

 

jenniferjo - May 22

my mom puts her in a playpen in the guest bedroom and turns on the radio and nightlight. My stepdad takes over from there and pats her back until she goes to sleep. Both are hard sleepers so I don't know if she doesn't wake back up or if they just don't hear her. They are 2 hours away so I know they won't come over at night to help(and I can't ask them as we don't have a spare room for them to stay over). Last night we moved her bed in our room and I moved her to it after she'd went to sleep in our bed. She stayed there until 5am!! The only way I can get her to take a nap is to lay down with her in our bed. Our couselor said it was ok to lock her door for awhile when she won't stay in bed(not overnight in case of emergency). I had a very hard time with that and stayed sitting outside her room the whole time so we haven't done that in awhile. I'm thinking about bringing the crib back out, but she's an exceptional climber. Also, this mext baby will NEVER sleep with us. I'll sleep with him/her during illnesses, but he/she won't be allowed to sleep in our room and maybe not even to go into our room other than to knock on our door if he/she needs something. I'll let you all know if I find something that works. Oh, I figured since we were having troubles, we would go all the way. I took away the binkies except when she is in HER bed. Family got her started with them all day again so i have to wean her back to nighttime only.

 

jenniferjo - May 22

Oh, forgot... if she goes to bed at 9pm, she gets up around 8:30am. If she goes to bed after 10, she gets up earlier and then takes a nap in the morning with me(I get ready for bed after she goes to sleep) because I'm tired by then as well.

 

cubbie - May 22

Welcome to the wonderful world of the two's! They say that a two year old has the same hormones as a teenager (so help us when they reach the teens - at least the twos only last a year) My dd turned from angel to devil overnight when she hit two and her baby sister was born when she was 2.2 which didn't help matters. Time out and punishment did nothing for her, the only thing that worked was staying calm and in control, not losing my temper, repeating "no, we don't do that" and totally ignoring the tantrums. It's tiring and hard work, but if they are given the message that the negative behavior gets zero attention and the positive attention gets lots of attention, it's also really important to remember what "being good" is for a two-year-old. So often we take it for granted that they're acting normally that we forget to praise it, say my dd was playing with her toys, after a few minutes, I would say to her, "you know I'm so proud of how you're playing so nicely" or " wow, what a good tower you're building, I can't wait to see what it will look like when you're finished" and that little comment would be the difference between her continuing to play rather than looking for my attention in a negative way. But it does come to an end, when my dd hit 3 again she changed overnight, she suddenly grew up and accepted no as no and was much calmer and less frustrated, she went back to her "old self" eager to help me and wanting to please.

 

jenniferjo - May 24

I use the 'praise' for good behavior and try to ignore the bad.. easier said than done sometimes. Today she was doing so good so I tried using praise for her name. Her name is Morgan, but she says moomoo instead. She can pronounce her name fine(for the last few months), but just doesn't like it I guess. Today I ignored her when she said moomoo and gave her a chip, candy or let her have a drink of pop every time she said her name correctly. She would even sing it toward the end of the night! On the sleeping issue, we have that solved at the moment. Daddy moved her bed into our room. She's slept in it on her own for the last 2 nights. Tonight she went to bed at 8, an hour early!! that was over 4 hours ago and she's yet to get up once! There was no crying at all. I cheated a little however. I turned on the tv, muted, and laid in our bed(across the room). I was watching the tv when I realized she'd fallen asleep. It only took 10 minutes so I'm thinking I just caught her at the right time when she was tired, but not too fussy. She didn't look tired at all and was only fussy because Daddy had left to go out with the guys. We're going to Nana's tomorrow for the evening so tomorrow night will be hard again. THankfully its my night out so I can put her to bed and go relax! Hope every1 is well.

 

DeeD - June 5

Be consitant. Teach her to use her words. It will get easier when she can communicate better.

 

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