Tantrums At 12 Months Old How To Deal With Them

8 Replies
DDT - February 14

My ds is just barely 12 months and for the last week or so he has been having the most horrendous tantrums. They seem to set him on a downward spiral and then he gets upset at everything and anything. There have been some changes to his little life recently: Firstly, he started full-time daycare 2 wks ago whereas before he was with me every day. He goes to daycare 14 days of the month. Secondly, I went cold turkey with the bottle about a week ago to sippy cups and he seems to be doing fine so far. Could these changes be sparking this behaviour? Thirdly, he has had a bad cold for the last week. For eg. He will be playing with blocks and then all of a sudden start flinging them around and howling. I figure this is frustration(?). If I try pick him up to talk or comfort him he arches his back and twists his body in my grip crying the whole time. He gets into a crawling position and starts rubbing his head along the ground & he rolls around on the ground like he's in agony. So far, I have been ignoring these sudden outbursts because really anything I try to do doesn't calm the situation. These outbursts are becoming more regular and related to things he used to love like baths for example. He acts like hes being tortured when I set him in the bath, he refuses to eat in his high chair (flinging food in every direction and screaming the entire time), and everytime I try to set him down for a nap or bedtime he reacts like his crib is a monster. We have never had problems with these things before. He used to love all these things. How do I handle these tantrums at such a young age?? I am expecting again in June and am now terrified that I will have to deal with a "terrible" (is that word strong enough?) toddler and a newborn.

 

Bridget - February 14

To be honest, I might just take him to the doctor. Just to rule out anything like a little hernia that might actually be causing him pain. That might be why things he liked before he doesn't want to do. Sitting in his high chair might not be comfortable and maybe not a in bath either. The way he goes into that specific crawling position makes me think he's trying to get comfortable. Is he maybe constipated? I'm not a dr and maybe this is all behavioral because of the sudden bottle removal and daycare, all at once. Did the ped say that was a good idea with the bottle? I know lots of folks do that, I'd be scared,LOL! My son weaned himself off the nightime bottle but he still has one first thing in the morning, but he's 2. Every kid is different, but just to rule out any physical issue, I would go for a dr visit and then you'll know if you just have behavior to deal with and nothing more serious.

 

sphinx - February 14

Do not give him any attention when he throws a tantrum. Pick him up and hold him away from you. Do not show him any emotion at all. Do not say anything. Put him in his crib and leave, closing the door behind you. He has to know that a tantrum is NOT the way to have his way or the way to get attention. This method worked well with both of my twins. They rarely throw tantrums now. The started tantrums around 11 months and they stopped around 13 months. They are now 16 months and if they even think about throwing a tantrum, they go into their cribs. This Mommy doesn't DO tantrums!

 

DB - February 14

When Audrey does this I really just try my hardest to ignore her too. It sucks and she doesn't seem to have them often, but when she does I will walk over her and not give it attention.

 

agage - February 6

I am on the same boat. My daughter is 12 months old and just started the screaming, arching back thing when she is not happy. Whether it be picking her up when she does not want you to or laying down in her crib. The screaming and crying is awful and I just don't know what to do. I put her in her crib to cry it out. Will it ever end?

 

tish212 - February 6

DDT- Alexa is 13 almost 14 months, and honestly around 11 or 12 months she began the SAME behavior! Playing just fine,seems to be happy and content then out of nowhere she cries out or whines and gets all upset. (of course when i pick her up she calms down) however if left alone it gets worse and worse. Also if we tell her no to something she does or is getting ready to do, and she is grumpy i can expect the tantrum to begin... she will scrunch her face and scream and "cry" with no tears but as quickly as it starts it can stop...either by getting her to pay attention to something else or when she comes to run over to me for comfort... (sadly i am wrapped around her finger but i dont pick her up or "cuddle" her during it) she just runs up to me and puts her head in my lap or against my leg... and then she stares at whatever made her mad then is over it and goes back to playing.... i fear it only gets worse from here as they gain MORE and MORE knowledge of how to "work" these tantrums... but like stated the best advice is to IGNORE them, stop them now... before he gets a foot hold into the super tantrums you see older children throw.... (and like you i am expecting number 2 in JULY) but we began working with her with a baby doll, (ok maybe it seems off to give a boy a baby doll but it might be worth a try) i hold the baby and cuddle it and then she does, or i tell her to kiss the baby or give it her sippy and most times she does... it is creating a connection that she can enjoy having a new baby around... and be part of it... and when she throws these tantrums we always tell her shhh the baby is sleeping...you dont want to make the baby cry... and most times she will go to her baby and cuddle or try to burp it... and the tantrum is over... (just a suggestion of what we have been trying to prevent as many issues as we can) Since she is my first and this is only my second i am trying to be as proactive as possible to be ready for ANY issue that may arise... and as for the sippy cup i think he will do ok, thats not affecting his mood...but the cold...is wearing him out so he is "easier" to tip off to a tantrum than he would be if he felt great...with Alexa she is more prone to multiple tantrums when she is ready to sleep or doesn't feel good... so i would think the cold is what is causing the "increase" in them.... I dont know about the bath thing...alexa loves baths..she has tons of toys, and loves to splash... but the highchair thing...here lately she HATES to sit and eat...she wants to be in my lap while i feed her...and sadly i do it because i want to make sure she eats...so i sit her in my lap and feed her dinner... i am hoping its a phase...as for the crib thing...some days yes and some days no... some days she is down perfectly and others..well its a battle to get her to sleep... and i never can predict what is going to happen lol...which baby i am putting to bed... but one thing she is going through is teething LOTS of teeth at the same time... not just like one..but like 3 or 4 at a time... so i am sure that is lending to the off behavior... she is miserable and grouchy... the first one we noticed was a molar so check for that, they are said to be the most painful teeth to cut...i thought it took longer for them to come in but apparently... they can come in whenever... so to help with ned time i bought her the homopathic teething tablets..they help calm her and i give her tylenol at night to ease the pain and she seems to go down easier... (i only do the tylenol on days she is really drooling and seems grouchier than normal) but its helped thankfully... i wish i could predict the future and tell you how your child will react to the newborn (cuz then i would know what to expect for myself) ya know be able to offer you some positive advice but i dont know what to expect just to take things a day at a time and HOPE its just a phase... good luck, and sorry for the ultra long answer...i always ramble on...

 

tish212 - February 6

oh and one more thing on the bottle thing, Alexa has been weaned from the bottle since 9 months, and using a nuby brand sippy cup and does just fine with them... and has NO interest in a bottle at all anymore...so i dont think thats the issue if he is drinking from them, if he refused them i would say that is an issue but it seems you say he takes just fine...

 

Justine1 - February 7

DDT - I read this and thought wow is Jaxon a year old already and he sounds just like Caden was at this age. Then I realised this post is a year old and it was Caden!

 

tish212 - February 7

Wow, i need to read response dates, it is a year old...UGGGGG

 

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