Where Do You Find Dr S Like This Vent

18 Replies
MelissaSLP - February 10

Ok, so I'm going to vent for a minute here. I guess because it took so much time and patience and energy to concieve our children, it makes me mad when I hear stories like this. My DH came home from work and said that a woman that he works with (under 30 yrs. old) has been trying to concieve. She stopped the pill, didnt get her period for 3 mo. and they tried for the next 3 mo. She went to her GYN who automatically referred her to the infertility clinic without ever getting bloodwork results, and HSG...nothing. Well, the infertiliy clinic puts her on Clomid eventhough she's ovulating. She asks my DH to have me give her some info. on it because they didn't explain much to her. She hasn't even "tried" for more than 3 mo. and she's seeing an infertility specialist that puts her on drug to "help her ovulate". At least they are monitoring her (doing blood draws throughout her cycle). I thought infertility meant one year of trying ??? So, my DH works at U of M hospital, so guess where his co-worker is going to for her "infertility" issues? U of M infertility clinic. Urgh!!!!

 

rm - February 11

Well at least she is going to the doctor and going through the proper channels instead of self diagnosing herself and ordering fertility drugs off the internet illegally. I admit I do not know the "standard" procedure for obtaining help through the fertility doctors and pray I don't have to find out but is 6 months not that long to doctors??? Is there a set time they have to go by? I can say that bc pills are horrible and messed me up for a long time. I think we should try to all stand together in our ttc troubles so that at least we have each other not get jealous over the fact that someone thankfully didn't have to suffer as long as some of us do or did.

 

Jenn - February 11

yeah-that is strange bc they say it can take a normal couple up to a year to get preg, and thats normal. My sister in law has been trying for the past 9 months and she went to the doc and they said that they wouldn't refer to after a year. She finally got preg, and ended up mcing. That is really jumping the gun I think...

 

TripletMom - February 11

Unless she has a history that her doctor knows about???? Any responsible docto would run all the appropriate tests to determine fertility/infertility before sending her to an infertility specialist... hmmmm

 

MelissaSLP - February 11

From what she told my DH, this is the first time they have TTC. And the standard I've always heard is to try for one year (without anytype of bc). They only tried for 3 mo. It's frustrating that the Dr. didn't give her any info. on it and they didn't do any pre-testing. I'm glad she is able to get help, but I'm not sure she really needs it. I am glad she's being responsible about it. I'm more frustrated with the Dr.'s who are treating her so quickly. Yeah, there is a bit of jealousy there, but I'm super happy with the family I have been able to have and wouldn't have it any other way (minus the heartbreaks along the way), but I'm concerned about her health as well.

 

mama-beans - February 11

Perhaps there are issues that you don't know about. There are many things that can jump up that "one year" standard that may be personal, and why would she go into such detail with your hubby? I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and just support. I too had fertility issues, TTC for close to 2 years with baby #1, but I would never wish that on someone else! If she is able to get help safely sooner then "I" was, then more power to her!

 

Shey - February 11

I would tell your DH friend to go somewhere else. There is a nurse a__sistant there at U of M that is in some BIG trouble right now that could lead to a prison sentence for her and maybe her DH too. It has to do with stealing other patients money as well as her own parents... I am talking loads of money . Enough that the court is talking possiable prison time. If there isnt a plea bargin here in the next week or so , then it will go to the big dogs in Detroit. Also the FBI are involved as she stole from the veterans through her so called nursing a__sistant career. I am going on the a__sumptin that you are talking about the University of Michigan right? Never the less they havent gotten as far as investigating the hospital yet because of her , but I know that is in the goals as well. My point here is that DO RESEARCH before ever going to any doc. for any reason.... there may be some behind the seen c___p going on .

 

MelissaSLP - February 11

Yes, it is University of MI hospital I'm talking about. My DH is a nurse there and this other lady is a nurse as well. Nurses can talk about everything with eachother. She just knows what we went through to have our kids and was very open with DH and asked him for some info. on Clomid since they hadn't really explained anything to her. That's when she told him the story. I too would not wish the ups and downs of TTC for an extended period of time either. Again, my main concern is that she did not get much info. and seemed to "jump the gun". I'm sure my DH can talk to her and see if there are any other issues going on. They are pretty good friends. One of her biggest ?'s was "Won't that make me have an increased chance of concieving twins if I'm already ovulating?". I'm going to encourage her to talk to her Infertility Specialist ... maybe make a consultation appt. just to get all the answers to her ?'s. As far as me giving her info. on clomid, should I just give her basic facts, my experiences on it or should I tell her to just talk to her Dr. (who didn't give her the info. to begin with)?

 

Shey - February 11

I hope that she will do some research and go to a different doc that will go into detail with her about these things. I am starting clomid on the 16th of this month and I know my doc has every intention on going over all of this with me. I guess with my wieght and age combined with the clomid I will have a higher chance of multiples. My suggestion is that you be careful with who you talk to over there. What department does your DH work in there ? just be careful of anyone that may have ever gone by the alias "Christmas Snow" ... this person is very dangerous and not someone that knows anything at all when it comes to this sort of stuff. I wish you all good fortune just be careful please.

 

Corona - February 11

I understand your frustration!! We were trying for well over a year before our GP recommended a fertillity specialist. After that we went trought 6 months of testing before he recommended any lin of treatment! MANY years after that we are finally expecting twins in June. A friends younger sister (23) met her husband & got married with in 4 months of that 1st meeting. 2 months later they somehow got a referal to a fertility doctor & conceived triplets last month!! How do these things happen! I respect the choices my doctors made & the time it took to get the right answers but it upsets me to hear the stories of others who really don't have proven problems paying there way into doctors!

 

rm - February 11

I think that is ridiculus to say that this woman you know nothing of is "paying her way through doctors." You do not know what this woman is or has gone through. I think some of these posts sound jealous and petty.

 

MelissaSLP - February 11

Who said anything about her "paying her way"? There is genuine concern since she came to us with ?'s that should have been answered by her Dr. Yes, for those of us who have gone through treatments and it has taken a long time, it bugs us when people are rushed through, but like Corona said, I am very happy with the route that we took, the time it took and the care we recieved because we now have 3 beautiful children. Wouldn't have it any other way. I don't wish infertility on anyone!

 

Corona - February 11

RM...please read the post! Yes I do know about her "paying her way in" as she is openly proud of it. This woman is my oldest friends sister, I've known her for 20 of her 23 years!

 

rm - February 11

You said : I respect the choices my doctors made & the time it took to get the right answers but it upsets me to hear the stories of others who really don't have proven problems paying there way into doctors!--------- Now you said others, which means more than one, right? And since the topic has been this woman who had the gall to go to a doctor it is easy to see how someone would surmise that you were also referring to her or anyone else. Regardless my opinion is that she is going to a doctor, she is a nurse I think, she is an adult, so what that she didn't have to wait as long as you ar someone else. Get over it. Why and I repeat WHY would any of you begrudge this woman or anyone fertility help from a doctor. Perhaps we need to pray for this woman and others that they do not have to go through want so many other women have unfortunately had to go through. Or better yet perhaps we should question why the f*ck is the medical field is making women wait so long in the first place then maybe some of you would not be so envious when another does not have to go through the long drawn out procedure that should never have taken so long in the first place.

 

MelissaSLP - February 12

rm - I'm just going to a__sume that you think it's ok for women to recieve fetility treatment when they really don't have fertility issues with the way you are saying we are just jealous and these people shouldn't have to wait to see if they really are infertile. We are supportive of others getting help, but when it's been a proven problem. 80% of couples will concieve in a year with unprotected s_x. That is why they usually have you wait a year. In a woman that ovulates normally, she only has a 25% chance of concieving in any given month. Again... that's why they tell you to wait a year. After reading Corona's post, I did see where the statement was made about paying their way, but that is not what I was suggesting about this particular woman that I originally posted about. It was more out of frutstration with her original GYN pushing her through without consulting with her on the standard and normal ways of concieving before one should start fertility treatments. I was also originally posting to see if any of the other clomid users on this site had any recommendations for what I should tell her since she came to us asking our advice and for info. on clomid since again these Dr.'s (at a very well reknown inst_tution) didn't give her much info. as to why she was recieving Clomid and what she should expect from it.

 

Corona - February 12

Okay, I didn;t mean to insinuate "other woman" are also paying their way in, but how do you get that my freind's sister is a nurse?? Where are you getting this from? She hasn't even finished college & she is only 23. Why should she not have to wait as long a others to see a doctor? Why at 23 with no testing done should she be even looking at a fertility doctor after only a few months of trying!?!? I didn't mean to suggest that there are many woman out there paying the way in to see a fertility specialist...I'm only stating what I know to be true about 1 couple 1 personaly know! Neither she or her husband have any proven fertility issue. I'm sure you're going to ask how I know this...well like I said before, I've known her my entire life & she has made it well known to friends & family what her husbands $$$ can buy! I don't begrudge woman the opportunity fot support & medical care. If you knew my history you wouldn't even suggest such a thing. I do feel it unfair that women/couples with real proven fertility issues & years of trying may at times be put into the same category as someone without fertility issues just because that couple may want multiples. Like I said i'm only speaking from the situation I have been in.

 

MelissaSLP - February 12

Corona - rm is confusing the two of us and our different situations that we have posted. My DH's co-worker is a nurse so that's what she was talking about. And, I didn't take what you said about the couple you know that paid there way through to a specialist as meaning that lots of other women were doing it.

 

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