Need Advice 2

2 Replies
jen - January 26

I just had a baby girl whom is 14 weeks old. I want some opinions on this matter, but I can not go to anyone I know. I just found out that my husband has been looking at p___n on the internet while I am not around and has been doing it for many years without my knowledge. Porn I do not mind so much, but when I confronted him he lied about it, and then eventaully fessed up. He stated he was ashamed. My husband is not goodlooking to other women, therefore he did not have many girlfriends. I understand that he needed some release, but now that he is married should I be upset. I don't feel like I an not desirable, I modeled before getting pregnant. How should I feel how should I handle the situation. Thanks to all

 

** - January 26

Well, it's kind of a toughy. it depends on how you feel about it. If you trust him that's what really matters. Do you think he would cheat on you? If itsjust a matter of looking at p___n, then it's more normal for guys than you think. We just don't really know about it. It's probably got nothing to do with how he feels about you. It's just a fantasy thing. I wouldn't be too worried about it. You could tell him that you dont feel comfortable with it and just talk it out. Ask him why he feels the need to look at it and what he gets from it. Most of the time it has nothing to do with a guys marriage or attraction to his wife, it's just a curiosity thing. Who knows. just talk it out with him and don't be accusing or judgemental though so he'll feel its ok to be honest and open up to you about it, just tell him how you feel and talk it out if it bothers you alot.

 

Here to listen - January 26

You have a tough and emotional situation where there is no easy answer. First congratulations on your baby. Second, life has changed a lot for both of you. The baby takes up a lot of time and energy and s_x is probably the last thing on your mind right now. Your husband (being a man and just programmed to think differently) probably is a bit jealous and intimidated of the relationship you have with your baby (especially if you are b___stfeeding). He may feel hurt that you haven't been paying him the kind of attention he is used to before the baby came along. As a new mom I can only imagine that you have been multi-tasking and dealing with your own changing body and have been doing the best that you can- which is what any woman would hope to do. It's not your fault. My advice would be to ask your husband about what he misses in your relationship and then take hints from there. Mentioning the p___n may make him jumpy, embara__sed, and more likely to lie. If you know more of how he feels you can always arrange time alone for the two of you without the baby. If you still aren't comfortable with the idea of having s_x, you can still have fun. My guesses are that as life returns to a new normal the p___n will go away. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

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