Repost PLEASE HELP NEED ADVICE

1 Replies
snowangel2006 - February 21

Okay, I know this is a bit different of a question and maybe it is the whole baby blues thing BUT. I am really needing some other women/men input on this........ my significant other was married one time before me. His first wife and I seem to share many of the same qualities, however; in other areas seem to be so so so different. The qualities we seem to share: both majored in psychology, both went on to teach in public schools, both seem to be very driven goal orietated independent women. Qualities we don't share, she was and is money hungry, treated her husband awefully, left him for another man (although he doesnt' see it that way), and controlled the finances so much so that they would argue about why he ate lunch out (mind you she made 160K a year). Okay so here is my problem, they still see each other 1-2 times a year at a huge function that they attended together for the 7 years they were together. My husband has been attending for 13 years. Infact, this is the same function that his wife met the guy she left her marriage with and for. So I haven't gone with him yet because of timing. I don't know why but I am very intimidated and insecure about his ex wife. I honestly think that I think about her WAY more than he does. I feel like it is constant. Today I was going through some REALLY old boxes and found a picture on a brochure to this function and low and behold it had her with out a top on. Now, i am by now means a large women, but I don't have a six pack! I know learned today that she has a very defined six pack. Which is perplexing seeing that she has huge thighs. AGain, I don't know why but she bothers me and the thought of her bothers me, and the thought of havign to see her in person and talk to her and all that goes with it bothers me. I will only be 6 weeks post partum when it is time for this event and I really want to go this year, but after seeing her picture, I am worried that I shouldn't because I won't be nearly in the physical shape she will. I don't know if this plays a part, but when I first met my now husband, within the first week I became aware of his ex wife and his statement to me was that he had a pretty hot wife. Yet, one thing we fight often about is that he doesn't pay me compliments!!! I will mention that it bothers me that he can so easily tell me how hot his ex wife was, but that he can't tell me that I am attractive. I have never experienced these types of feelings or emotions about an ex before an I am afraid if I don't get a grip it is going to be the demise of our marriage. Any help? Advice? Anyone experience something like this before?

 

Starrman - March 1

My advice: Find a counselor (I did, it saved my marriage) - you are not likely to get any truly useful advice on an internet message board. You have issues - go get help for them from somone trained to do so. If you truly fear for your marriage and want to save it - you will stop looking for answers here.

 

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