No More Parties?
Read about being a mother of 12 as our resident 'Supermom'
shares her wise parenting advice.
Birthday parties are a bit of work, and adding to my workload is
something less than thrilling, so while I'm happy to make a party for my kids,
birthdays involve at least a thimbleful of dread. As the mother of many
children (12 to be exact), I find that such mixed feelings are a very natural
part of raising kids. In fact, when my kids find themselves too old to host yet
another home-based birthday bash, I find my relief at being off the hook as
hostess tempered with sorrow that my child is nearing the end of a carefree
stage of his life.
The last party
It happens when they turn nine. Little kids plan their birthday parties
all year, but nine year olds seem hesitant to approach the idea that a birthday
party is looming. At last they broach the idea with you, letting you know that
this is going to be the last party.
It's inevitable, and it's painful. Both of you have to let go. It's a
rite of passage that children find themselves too old to continue to host
birthday parties at home. They are navigating the rocky road to young
adulthood, and part of that road involves finding the landmarks of societal
norms. It's a hard road to travel, but you can help.
Costing more than a small country's GNP
Your nine year old is going to want to mark this last birthday party in
a different manner. For my child who turned nine in December, this meant a
longer party, more guests, refreshments on a more sophisticated scale than our
usual fare, and cooler prizes for winning games. Even though this party ended
up costing more than a small country's GNP, I gave him the leeway he needed to
make this party different, and in his eyes, acceptable to his peers. During the
planning, I reassured my son that starting next year, we would provide the funds
for him to host a few friends at the local pizza parlor or burger place. His
relief was palpable.
There is a way for your child to feel special on his birthday without
any loss of face. Taking his friends to a fast food eatery is always
appropriate. The venue is one that is an acceptable hangout for older kids and
teens and as long as he limits the guest list to no more than five friends, he
won't be seen as making a big deal out of his special day.
