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i read your question and thought i would respond. i had a baby 12 weeks ago and beleive that i have experienced a form of post partum depression. i had a natural birth no drugs just a little gas. i did have a post partum haemoragge and was re hospitalised with multiple infections a week after her birth. i beleive the reason i have felt the way i have since her birth ( iam now feeling better), is due to several reasons. i was not mentally prepared for the reality of having a baby enter my life. i am thirty and have always done the career, uni, travel all about me thing and that can no longer be the case. i also believe lack of family support (no mum, dad and sister a long distance away) and most importantly lack of sleep. i have experinced 3 months with no more than 4-5 hours in a row. (this is now also getting better. during the first three weeks i thought on three seperate occasions of how it would be easier to just be dead and not have to deal with the situation. funnily i am a trained mental health wirker and i didnt even recognise my own symptoms. women put pressure on themselves and each other to sail through this most difficult time which i also did. we need to be able to openly say i love my child but i need a break from her or i love her but this is the single most difficult thing i have ever experienced. due to me feelings i have chosen to not have a another child as i have vowed to never put myself in a place where i can feel like that again. i will make the most out of my beautiful liitle girl who didnt deserve my crying, moodiness and crankiness for the first 10 weeks of her life.

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