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Mine was bad with my first.I worked full time and overtime right up to the very end of my pregnancy so I really didn't give myself time to read all the books. I was clueless about colic and jaundice. My parents lived in another state and my in-laws and I had gotten into a fight just days after my daughtet was born. I thought she was fine but she had a severe case of jaundice.When the pediatrician finally called back with the test results, he told me to rush my daughter to the emergency room. By that time she was lethargic and had to spend 3 days under the billi light.My in-laws left and went back home while we were still in the hospital and didn't speak to me for two months after that. My husband had also just started his own trucking company and was on the road all the time so I was at home all alone with a colicy baby and no one to talk to. I had also planned on quitting my job but wasn't really sure if we could handle it financially. On nights when the baby was into her 2nd hour of screaming at the top of her lungs and it was 1am, I would cry and hold her in my arms and think about jumping with her in my arms off our balcony. I think I was like that for about 2 months. 2 months of non stop screaming from 11 pm - 2 am. Lonliness and mother hood just do not go hand in hand. No one was there to give me a break. No one was there to talk to. I was afraid if I talk to anyone about how I felt, they would take my daughter away from me and I would never see her again. I also knew that if I killed just myself, my daughter would be messed up for life so it would be better to take her with me.That's how my thought process was at that time. You must have a support system around you. I have good news though. My daughter is now 5 and my son is 9 mo. It took all that time to finally convince myself to have another one and I prepared myself for the worst. It was stressfull like all newborns can be, but I wasn't suicidal. I just loved him so much, I didn't mind going through colic and constant testing of his jaundice levels all over again because I knew the rewards were just a few months away.
P.S. To answer your question, I had an epidural and breastfed for 5 months.

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