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i had ppd with my daughter. it didn't catch up to me until she was about 5-6 months old but when it did it was bad. i never got suicidal but i was extremely paranoid. i thought my husband was going to kill me once (for no apparent reason) and called 911, i couldn't sleep at night for fear that someone was going to break into our house and kill us all. my husband would have to push the stove in front of the door just so i would close my eyes at night. i thought i was losing my mind and i was. it was making me insane. one day i just lost control and couldn't think anymore. i was hysterical. my mind would not function. i just shut down. that's when i was admitted to the hospital and the problem was dealt with. if it wasn't for me getting help i don't know what would have happened. i think a lot of things going on with my daughter had a lot to do with my ppd being so bad. she was born with a disability we didn't know about until she was born so i think just realizing the unknown and unthinkable could happen to me sent me over the deep end. my daughter is now 3 years old and i still get paranoid at times but not nearly as bad. just talking about it and realizing what the problem was helped me. btw i was put on effexor and it only made things worse. i believe talking through your fears and emotions is the only real solution this problem (at least in my case). otherwise you might just suppress something that might catch back up with you later on in life..p.s. i had a scheduled c-section.

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