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hi..i had ppd after the birth of our first child.I had emergency c-section at 36 weeks and breastfed. I fell that the c-section may have been contributory as well as the early and surprising arrival of our daughter, coupled with a very emotionally unsupported pregnancy. we also(stupidly) didn't arrange for family to be there after the birth (in another country) so we were just overwhelmed afterwards. I suffered insomnia despite being dogtired.. wouldn't eat all day long and had very fleeting thoughts of suicide but dispelled those as soon as they came into my head. I also found i obsessed over the tiniest things.. like.. if only we could get a decent breastfeeding pillow everything would be alright. i found the worst symptom to deal with was that my head felt as if it was full of the white noise you get when ur tv isn't switched to a channel.. all the thoughts just rampaging round and u not able to focus on any one of them.. i feel that might be why some women get obsessive.. ur brains way of trying to focus on an idea?i cried and cried and would have happily dissappeared on a plane anywhere, without husband and baby, had someone given me a ticket! i also felt a strong urge to care for our baby but no real love. I declined drugs cos i wasn't convinced about their safety regarding breastfeeding and although the extreme symptoms went after about 3-4 weeks i was left feeling fairly overwhelmed and counted the hours in everday until about 8 months after the birth and at that point in faded into the normal tired mother thing. I now worship my daughter (don't we all) and although i felt worse than i imagined i could, i now feel my old self and ppd is treatable so it isn't the end of the world although it may feel like it at the time. like many posts my best recommendation is get help after the birth.. as many close family and friends as are willing.. and even non close ones.. you don't even care who they are or if u like them .. as long as they'll cook and clean, u don't care :-)

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