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That is exactly how I felt with my first baby. I had both of my kids by c-section and only my older one had to stay in NICU. I don't think it's the method of birth that makes the difference, I think it's a defense mechanism we have when we see our babies hooked up to all those machines--we worry that they won't survive so we distance ourselves from them, without meaning to. Also, when the baby is in NICU you aren't with them constantly, watching every little grunt and wiggle...so they feel like a stranger when you get to bring them home. I had postpartum depression after my first baby, along with the disconnected feelings. By the time she was six months both of my problems were gone. You will grow to love your son, and it will amaze you how very much you do love him...just give it a little time. Spend some time cuddling him (if it's warm enough in your house, undress him and take off your shirt and cuddle him skin-to-skin). When you watch him stretching and kicking, think about the movements you felt when he was in your stomach, and see if you recognize his movements. I noticed that with my daughter...that her stretches and wiggles were just what I'd been feeling when she was still in my tummy. It will get better, and you're not the only mom ever to feel like you do.

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