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In my opinion you are not being unreasonable at all. Certainly the children are old enough that breaking the co-sleeping should be done and probably should have already been done.
What is the story with "We had talked about me moving back in, her words were to the effect, you'll have to move back in or you'll end up paying child support." and now she is saying that you cannot move in? Does she want to be together or not? Does she just want your $$$?
Certainly a new baby will be an adjust for the kids, but I'm sure her going back and forth between men was much tougher on them. She just needs to level with you let you know where your relationship is going. Sorry I'm not much help.

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