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i feel exactly the same way as all three of you, there is no way that i can leave my dd is the care of some one else. We do need the two incomes though, so there for i work as a nanny. I get to bring my dd with me to work, that way, no daycare, we get a second income, and I get to raise my dd. Our dd also get to play with other children. I am so sorry that I have no encouraging words that you will feel better, because I don't see how you will - i wouldn't. Is there anyway that you can bring you baby to the store 2-3 days a week and only have you lo in the inhome care 2 days a week? Since it is a baby boutique, it is childfriendly right?!! You can set up a play area where you lo can hang out and you get to play with him too when it is more mellow in the store. The paperwork can be done after your lo is in bed for the night. I am just throughing out ideas now, to give you something to work with. Good luck, i feel for you.

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