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Congrats on making it to the third trimester Heather! I can't believe you are due in June again... Wouldn't it be crazy if they were born on the same day a year apart?? Have you thought of a name yet?


Fefer- He gets a check from the government because of me. Since he is disabled and can't work, he gets a check for me being in high school. I'm not in high school anymore but apparently he's lied to them about it and told them I still am so that he can still get his check to spend on beer and drugs. Not a penny of that money, which is technically MY money, goes to me. All of his food, shelter and clothes are paid for by my mom. My mom makes a ton of money but I don't see much of that either because it's mostly spent on my dad. My entire paycheck goes to Ellie, every cent of it. What I don't spend right away on formula, diapers, clothes or whatever else, goes into a savings account that I NEVER take out for myself. My grandma gets a check from my grandpa every month for her living expenses and that's where my food, clothes, and shelter come from. Anything that I want for myself I usually sell something for. Like... I need a new hard drive so I'm selling my ipod on craigslist. My grandma does spoil me a bit though even when I don't really want her to :) She's an angel!

Dawn, yeah I don't think my dad is ever going to change. I was just optimistic at that point in my life with a baby on the way, you know? I thought that if I gave him just one more chance he'd change for her, not me. I never expected him to change for me because he's really never liked me that much... He doesn't really know anything about me so he makes a lot of things up that makes him hate me. Despite having lived with him for 14 years and having him home ALL the time... I've never had a conversation with him---ever. It's either awkward silence or screaming at each other. We've never sat down and said "how was your day?" or anything like that. He's in denial of that and he thinks we were best friends or whatever. He says that I spray painted my neighbors house and he lied to cover up for me, but they caught it on video tape? Okay not only would I never vandalize anyone's property.. their house was never spray painted and they don't have security cameras!! He also claims that I told him my evil plan to ruin his life by getting pregnant. I said "Dad, I want you to be miserable for no apparent reason.. So I'm gonna get pregnant because that makes perfect sense for me to do." Obviously, I never said that either. He makes something up every day, tells my mom about it and of course my mom knows it didn't happen because my mom knows me and my mom also knows my dad is totally insane. She'll come home and tell me about it, then we'll laugh but sooner or later I'll get a phone call from him using that completely made up story as a reason for why it is 100% my fault that he is so miserable. He's just crazy... It's frustrating to think about seeing as how I really don't think I've done anything wrong. I guess it's arguementable that it was wrong to have sex at my age but I still don't feel like it was... I had been with Harold for nearly 4 years when I concieved, I was and still am genuinely in love with him, I'm really not very religious so waiting for marriage didn't mean much to me... I just think you should be in love, and I'm in love. Should I have used back up birth control? Probably. But when your doctor says "this is 99% effective" I thought okay I have a better chance of falling off a cliff than getting pregnant... but low and behold! haha oh well I'm rambling :)

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