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Cat I somewhat agree w/ what you're saying to hawaiian girl. All up to the point where you say its in "their" nature. Not all men will cheat on their mate and I do truly believe that a man can change. However, this is where the tricky part comes in. He has to truly want it AND show it. It can't just be 'blah blah blah, I love you and want to change' it has to be SHOWN too. The only comparison I personally can relate to on a similar subject is dealing w/ my dad as an alcoholic. Sure he WANTS to change all the time and I can see it in his eyes that it truly does hurt him when he hurts me, but it still isnt going to change a DAMN thing until I see something different. I sure do hope hawaiian girl gave her new hubby a chance to prove himself because his history is indeed a HUGE red flag. I also really hope she assesed whether or not she will stick by his side in the chance he slips up the way he did with his ex. I just hope she didn't take the plunge too quickly...I think thats sorta the sentiment you were running w/ too Cat

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