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A boy friend with big time attachment problems! I sense an inner conflict here. The maternal is fighting the practical. This child will have an OK family with a mom and three older sibs to look after him, but the financial and time constraints are something you already understand and are nervous about. First off, do the other children get to have a say in this - what is their input? Second, can you visualize the pleasure you will give some other infertile couple if you go the adoption route? Since you are mature and have kids already, maybe you could find an "open" adoption where you could watch the child grow from a distance. Good luck!

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