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Well you are in a bit of a mess. YES it is fair, honest, and the right thing to do to tell both of them they could be the father. You made a mistake, and now you have the chance to try and make it better and do the right thing. Don't jump the gun and prejudge your Arab ex. To say you would never want him to have any kind of custody is just not nice. Think of the good and positive you saw in him before this pregnancy. Try to remember that. Plus if you look inward, you were living a wreckless lifestyle drinking heavily AND sleeping around....do you think its fair for someone to say they wouldn't want you to have any kind of custody because you are not a suitable mom....? Of course not, you too made a mistake. So fess up. Tell them both. Hopefully both will step up to the plate and take responsibility if necessary. On a side note and I hope you don't mind me saying (you asked for advice), you had a dead beat dad--according to your post--and now you have been involved with TWO men at the same time that you are not proud of...do you think you might benefit from some kind of therapy....We are all haunted by our past and our parents for the good or bad have a huge influence on how we are. You do not want to fall into the pattern and have history repeat itself with yourself or your child. Good luck!!!

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