Pregnancy Info HOME

Hey Dawn! I've sort of been down the road you are on now so I'm hoping a I can provide you a little comfort. I got pregnant when I was 20 by my bf and had my little boy when I was 21. My bf and I were together when the baby was born but we had been on and off throughout the pregnancy. Right after the baby was born, he started dating another girl (although we lived together). Then one day, he decided he was just going to up and move out on me with no money, no nothing. I went to the Texas Department of Health Services and filed abandonment on him. Don't really know if anything came of that b/c I moved back to Houston shortly after (I had been living in Dallas with him). The night before I came home I stayed at his parents house and he came over to visit the baby. He was all crying and putting on some big damn show for his family and telling Garrett, "I'll come see you in a week little buddy." Well, that week has now turned into 4 1/2 yrs. I chose NOT to have his rights taken away but to make it as hard as hell for him to see the baby. I filed for child support and took some recordings that I had from him off of the voice mail cussing me out. I then told him how violent he was with the baby's furniture and things when we would fight. And then told the lawyer that he had never changed a diaper, nor fed him a bottle, so how was he going to take this baby every other weekend for visits? Well, as a result, the only time he could have visitation was once a month on a Saturday. He would have to call me and make an appt. He would then have to drive to Houston to the Safe House where armed guards would be in a room with him from 8-12. He was allowed to have no contact with me whatsoever (except for when making the appts.). My dad knew all along that he would never make the 4 1/2 trip down here to spend 4 hours with a bunch of armed guards in the room, nor would he ever pay a dime of child support. And he was right. He managed to move from job to job and child support never caught up with him. So now he owes me around $25,000.00 and in my opinion that is wonderful. The reason for that is I am remarried to a wonderful man who has taken Garrett in as his own since Garrett was about 7 months old. It is the only daddy that Garrett knows. This summer we are taking Taylor (my ex) to court for him to turn over his rights to my husband. If he refuses, then I can possibly have them involuntarily taken away since he has not seen him in so long and paid no support. See, now I have this $25,000.00 hanging over his head and if I want, I can have his ass thrown in a jail for a LONG TIME!!! So, I'm thinking when I request for him to sign over his rights, he will have no problem in doing so. So basically, what I'm trying to tell you is that you don't need this asshole. Just like you, I was once devastated and could not believe that he was tearing apart our family. Well, now I've learned that I'm much better off without him. My husband is a wonderful husband and father both and that is something that my ex could have never been. If you play your cards right, you could end up the winner of this all, and don't worry about it right now. I know that is a lot easier said than done, but seriously do you want someone like that to be a big influence in your child's life? I know that I didn't and I am very lucky that my ex has no desire to be in my child's life. I know that sounds crazy for me saying that, but he would ruin my child and turn him into a con artist like him. My child is much better off without him. Just remember, anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy. Is he acting like he really wants to be a daddy to this baby?

reply