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Hi. I really don't know if I'm at the right place, but I'm just so sad, because it's been one month since I delivered my little baby Kira, who was only 5" long, and weighed 1.3. They said I couldn't just have a d&c because i was too far along. So they induced labor -- it was the most heart breaking experience of my whole life! When I delivered her, they discovered the cause of her death. The umbilical cord had wrapped around her neck four times. Who would have thought? I would have never imagined. Everything had been FINE. She was HEALTHY. We were so happy we made it past the first trimester. I know I was only 18 weeks, so although they don't consider her a "stillborn" I can never imagine her being classified as a miscarriage. I know I'll be starting my period soon, but all I do is take pregnancy tests and hope that maybe, perhaps, I'll be blessed & get pregnant. It's going to be so hard to go through my period. But now I know even after the first trimester I still have to worry. I never expected anything bad to happen since I made it through. I took an ovulation test a few weeks ago, and supposidly was ovulating, but I think the way I seem so PMSy, that I'lll be starting any time. Then part of me just wants to start, so I don't walk around like a maniac wondering all the time if I am pregnant. I know I probaby sound like a whacked person, it's just still so raw inside.

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