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Kimberly, that is what I am so afraid of. Even if now isn't the right time, could I really live with myself knowing that I killed something I have always wished for? I'm not sure it's a chance I want to take. I've always been insecure and have held a rather high sense of guilt. The most trivial of mistakes will eat at me from the inside till I breakdown... so how would this affect me? My fiancee is a great man though he bases every decision on what is logical which I am in no way saying is a bad thing, but every once in a while the logical decision isn't always right. Logic would say that we are young, that we would struggle for a while to raise this child and that perhaps waiting would be best... But the heart says that logic isn't always the right option. Yes, we would struggle, we'd have to sacrifice some things, but if we really wanted this child we could and would find a way. It's just a matter of getting him to see that. My doctors appointment in is five hours, so we shall see what happens. I'm honestly wondering what is going on within his mind... I had a rather terrible breakdown the other day where all I kept telling him was to call and schedule the abortion and he said he would in a bit, but he never did... I'm wondering if he hasn't called because he doesn't want to....

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