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i'm sorry to hear that you are having to make such a difficult decision. i'm 23 , my huusband and i have been trying for a while now to get pregnant, tried ivf last nov. 2007 but miscarried. i was adopted when i was 18yrs - sounds strange -i know -its b/c i grew up being physically & mentally abused by my biological mother and social services didnt do anything til i was 14 yrs old- finally took me out of the home. the home i was placed in was wonderful and they are my parents and i am very thankful for them but what i wanted to tell you was that they had also adopted other children some from birth and older.- like me. my longer brother that was adopted from birth knows that he was adopted b/c his biological mother couldnt take care of him and loved him enough to know that he would be better off with a family that could take care of him. he is now 7yrs and understands what happen. i thinks its better to let the child know from as soon as they can talk that this is your mommy but they grew in another womens body who loved them very much. the children that dont get told til they are older or dont find out their family secret til adult- have issues of not uderstanding why they were given up for adoption. hope this helps you

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