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Hi all,

I am in a similar situation. Both my husband and I have children to from past relationships and we both knew how the other felt BEFORE we got married, but both of us hoped the other would change their minds. Neither of us have and this is now causing major problems in our relationship. I want to have a child with my husband. I love the children we already have but want to look into OUR childs face and see US not me and someone else or him and someone else. I want to share that special gift of a child with my husband, to share those moments together that only two parents can. Yes there will still be precious moments in the lives of the children we have, but I want to share those precious moments as parents with our OWN child also. Unfortunately my husband does not. He has openly admitted he enjoys the lifestyle we have, says he doesn't like babies and does NOT want to have a child with me. This feels like a HUGE rejection considering his youngest child is 5 but he is entitled to his own decisions and I would NEVER become pregnant without both of us agreeing and wanting a child together. So.... we recently went to a counsellor who advised us that there are 4 options.... 1. I give in and we don't have a child 2. He gives in and we have a child 3. Neither of us give in and we break up 4. WE continue to not resolve the issue and inevitably one of the above will happen. We both agreed (4) is not an option. So he asked us both what our reasons were for wanting or not wanting a child and how we could resolve the issue one way or another. He advised that there were ways to move forward and yet walking away, it is true as he said. We are at a stalemate, and inevitably one of us has to give us what we want if we are to continue with this relationship. We left the counselling last night and agreed to take a bit of time to think about what was said before we organise another counselling session. I guess the reason I am writing this is because it will be more real to me if it is written. I know that he does not understand my reasons for wanting a child with him, and I don't understand his reasons because he already has two with someone else... so I can really only see one outcome. I understand what the gentleman said earlier but it does seem like a huge rejection. He very obviously loves the two children he already has so it's hard for me to see that when they come over and know that he is not prepared to share that with me. Anyway, I just needed to get that out. I hope that you all get what you want out of life and whether you do or don't want a child, it is only right that you do what is right for YOU. I love my husband and would never force another child on him but also do not want him to force NO CHILD on me and that is what is happening in our relationship. Good luck all.

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