Hi Cate, I've never writ...

Deborah (Syd Australia) - May 7th, 2005 12:36 AM
[Original Comment]

Hi Cate,

I've never written in on one of these chat things but my heart really went out to you. No one can ever know your pain the way you do but you certainly have my empathy. The wait is just the pits isn't it? I'm sure all the stress doesn't help our bodies. Have you tried some hypnotherapy? I think it's the only thing that's kept me sane in the past 2 years of trying. I have no children and have never been pregnant. I'm currently on my 5th full IVF cycle. I've had 4 failures. (No pregnancy hormne registering at all) but this time I have got an HCG reading but it is so pathetically low. I'ts just 17. I first tested at just 9 on the first testing day (which is technically 4 weeks preg) and today I tested at 17. What the devil does that mean. I was sure my test today was just precautionary because I had a full period and I also have no pregnancy signs apart from a sore lower back. I almost didn't even bother to go for the test. This is the first time I've even registered an HCG reading but I'm sure it will amount to nothing after reading the levels recorded at 5 weeks by the other ladies here on the net. Something is a miss. The Nurse told me not to get my hopes up and in the same breath she told me that she did know of one woman at her clinic that did read at just 9 at 4 weeks and she went on to have a live birth.

All I can say is don't give up. I'm not going to. If I crash and burn again then I'll have to brush myself off after a week or two of drowing in my own tears (of wich I've alredy done one week let me add) and then go for cycle number 6. I dont want to look back on these years when I'm 45 or so and think "I should have just kept trying.."

They want me to repeat the test again on Wednesday. It's like rubbing salt into the wound. Right now my biggest fear is that I may have an eptopic pregnancy on my hands but I've read that it's highly unlikely becuase with IVF the embryo is placed directly into the uterus.... It still scares me to death tho... those things can kill you I'm told. I see you say you have had 2 successul pregnancies. You have proof that know your body can do it. I don't. . Take good care of yourself.


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