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im not jealous in a bad way. of course im terribly happy with those who dont have to go through what i went through. it was horrible! i was just being honest in how i feel and im sure those who have lost understand what i am going through. i was just being honest cause i feel like thats the only way i can work through this. yes my doctor said it was for sure because of the fibroid. no chromosomal problems or anything like that...it was my first so my uterus was small and the fibroids grew big because of the hormones and pushed the baby out. she said there was no room for her to grow. makes me very said to think of my poor baby trying to survive under those conditions. im mad at my body for doing that to her. as for having kids later....i dont know i so scared...i want to have my baby back tahts all and i cant replace her...so just makes me feel like i shouldnt even try every again. she was a surprise... i surprise i had to work through but once i got used to the idea i was getting into it. now shes gone and im scared again.....my husband wants kids and i want to give them to him...but im scared....and surgery?? im scared of that too...doctors are just humans and they more then least make mistakes. i don want some doctor making a mistake on me...so surgery is not somthing of a choice right now. the body has the ability to heal itself...so change of diet the right herbs and vitamines should be more then okay. do some yoga....i dont trust doctors..and im sorry to say it but iim a minority and thats more of a reason for me to not trust them...this world is messed up and it happens....

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