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I want to thank you for all your stories i have found that talking to other people and listening to thier stories is the most helpfull strategy for healing the pain and fear of this disorder.I never even heard of this ppdocd befroe and so when it happend to me i was devistated, terrified,confused. my daughter was around 8 months old before i had my first major attack, i was in the kitchen and i saw a knife i thought oh my god what if i could hurt my duaghter what if i would hurt her. instant fear came over me i picked her up put her in the car and drove to my friends house as if i was trying to save her from me iwas freaking out.i thought what would make me thinki could hurt my own baby i must be absolutly crazy like those women who hurt thier kids.i was disgusted and terrified, i literally dropped my baby off at a friends and went to a walk in mental health clinic. they could'nt help me i told the lady everything( even though i ws scared they would call protective services)bu ti wa smore scared of my crazt thought .they basically told me to go home and get some sleep and followup with someone else ,and i did and noone could help me ,in search of help/answers i went to the book store and read all books on mental disorders nothing completely fit untill i found a book called "agost in my house" it was one of the best feelings in my life when i found out what i had because then i knew i could try to stop it.I know this ppocd is a horrible thing but it helps me to know im not alone andi hope it helps you to.my daughter is now 2 and though i still have episodes they are not as often, howevr they are still traumatic for me, i am considering meds but for now thanks for listening , only you women can understand and we can help eachother please keep wrighting, it helps me also to know that these are just tought but not reality and let them come and let them go you will be alright
thank you

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