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It's important to note that as an OCD sufferer, you are no more likely to hurt your baby than a person who suffers from contamination OCD is likely to die because he didn't wash his hands 50 times before sitting down to eat dinner.

I have suffered from OCD since the age of 10 (29 years now). I have three children, ages 20, 15 and 13. Two of my three children have OCD. All of us have been successfully treated with a combination of OCD medications and exposure and cognitive therapy. I dealt with some degree of pre and postpartum OCD with each child. The first bout was so severe, I would describe it as soul-destroying and identity-robbing. I mistakenly thought my fears defined me as a person. (What kind of monster can I be if I have these fears?) Now, I know the opposite is true. With this disorder, it's not unlikely to fear things that are least like you, simply because these things are most important to you. For instance, an OCDer who adores her cat might be consumed by fears of bringing harm to the cat, directly or indirectly. A deeply religious OCDer might be consumed by blasphemous thoughts because he fears they'll offend God. I'm sure you see the pattern here. There's a lot of good literature out there to help you. I recommend Jeffrey Schwartz's book Brain Lock for starters. Just remember you are not alone and that your fears aren't based on real threats. Good luck to you.

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