I was diagnosed with Postpartum OCD about 4 monhts after having my child. I had a panic attack once because I convinced myself that I'd be a horrible mother someday and that I would hurt her. Those were actually my worst fears. I also did a lot of checking, counting, among other things. I started having obsessive thoughts about my husband and other family members that were just outrageous! I had cognitive behavioral therapy for 3 months, and that helped a lot. The thing that "cured" me was Lexapro--an SSRI. I suggest getting help and not feeling any guilt. OCD people are great; they're just a little different!
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