Being Selfish Or Plain Pregnant

6 Replies
River - March 1

h__lo everyone. so im 31 weeks pregnant and ever since i found out i was the topic of the day is if im going back to work. at first i thought ok, yes i am, i want to keep working, but now i dont feel that way anymore and i have expressed this to my husband wich tells me that i dont want to do anything (i want to stay home and take care of our baby!!!) and he was so ignorant about maternity leave and such that he thought that after i popped the baby out i would be up and going in 2 weeks. this made me very mad and hurt my feelings and couldnt stop crying. he appologized and that was the end of that... except my mother in law every time she sees me tells me what she is going to do for me, how good of a baby sitter she is and that i will need a br___t pump to go to work. she never bothered to ask me if i planned on going back and this hurts. also, my family is telling me to stop working already, that i need to rest. my brother never ever let his wife work even though she wanted to and it would be absolutely embarrassing if they knew this situation i have only talked about with my mom. also needs to be mentioned that this is my first baby and am 20 years old. i would like some imput on this, please tell me what do you think. thanks.


River - March 1

one more thing, my husband and i are barely making it with our salaries and dont want to put more pressure on him,...


Been There - March 1

I'm not saying your selfish. I just think you need to step back from all the emotions for just a minute. Your mother in law seems to be a great lady. I don't think she's being insulting by offering to be there for you. You really should appreciate her being so willingto help, instead of being hurt that she didn't ask if you're going back. You could just tell her you may not go back to work. I don't see the need to be hurt because she's really being considerate by trying to be there for you. Also, you're allowing yourself to be embarra__sed when your brother's situation is obviously different from yours. If they can afford to live on one salary, that is their life. If you, however, cannot, that's your life and there's no reason they should judge your for your different situation. Maybe your family feels that a pregnant woman can't work, but unless you're having a problem pregnancy, it's up to you if you continue or not (based on your job as well). You also need to sit down and have a serious conversation with your husband to see if you can afford one income at this time. Sometimes if you cut back, especially since daycare will be a new bill, you can make it on one income, sometimes you cannot. But YOU and YOUR HUSBAND are the only ones who should be making this decision without worrying about what everyone else thinks.


krc - March 2

most working moms have to go back to work after 6 weeks which I think is way too early. It seems most moms choose to go back when the baby is between 4-6 months. They are still young but old enough to where daycare doesn't seem so bad and they are alert enough for social interaction. How long did you plan on staying out of work? Also have you considered daycare a__sistance? I m going to get it and will be paying over $150 less than what the average person pays. Big difference !!!


sarahbaby11 - April 3

i'd look at it this way. there are jobs that you can do that you can bring the baby with you. they aren't great paying but at least you have the baby. aka a school bus driver. at least you are bringin in an income and not putting such a strain on your financial status. also a baby already puts a starin on a marriage just due to the hours you lose in sleep and such. so why add money to that strain. also if your mother in law wants to watch the baby and you feel that she is competent and responsible enough (meaning that she will learn what has changed since raising her kids...aka bottles, back sleeping, blankets, toys etc. then let her and go to work. take a month or two off to just be with the baby then go to work. i can tell you from experience that satying home all day everyday with a baby can take a toll on you. i have been with my daughter since day one she is now 2.5 years old. i recently started driving a bus just to have that adult contact and friends of my own. justa thought. basically talk with your husband and see what he thinks to and forget everyone else opinions


shaylan.rae - April 4

dont go back if you dont want to. you guys can make it on one income. im 20 and staying home with my son and i dont regret it. im thinking about getting an overnight job so i dont have to miss out on my son growing up. my fiance is 20 also, going to school full time and working full time. i think the best thing for a baby is its mother. (or father) no one else needs to be raising your child if you want to do it. tell everyone that its your kid and you are going to do what you need to do as a mother. it isnt about them, or even your husband at this point. its about your child and what is best for him/her. dont let anyone pressure you because you guys can live off one income. it takes some crazy budgeting, believe me, but it can be done.


2StarsOnMyBack - April 12

i know how you feel river. i am in a simmilar situation. i wish i could offer some advice but cant. i can only thank shaylan.rae, for her words, i dont know, maybe because that is exactly what i wanted to hear; not going back if i dont want to and that we can make it on one salary...



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