17 And Trying

41 Replies
:) - May 4

heya, im 17 years old and me and my partner are trying for a baby because i have been told to try now if iwant to start a family. so i cant possibly leave it late and i want to have children. however, i am pretty much prepaired for this, i have alot of money saved, i have all the baby things i will need and a family who support our descisions, and have stability. this is not the case for most 17 year olds and i would say this is too young but i need to do it so i am. i wou;ld love to have had the chance to wait until i was 30. however, fertility is supposed to be high at a young age and weve been trying for 9 months and still nothing. maybe thats coz my fertility is decreasing already? hope not.


Just curious - May 4

Who in the heck told you that you had to try NOW if you want children????? You are still a child. That is so sad to me.


:) - May 4

my doctor told me i needed to try now. i have renal failure which gets progressively worse over time, so by the time im 20-25 my kidneys wont be able to cope with the demands of pregnancy. so therefore if i want to have children i need them now. in my country its legally allowed from the age of 16, so its not such a taboo as it is in places like america.


Just curious - May 4

I pray for good health for you. I am so sorry to hear that. You are right it is more common place in the U.S to have a child in your 20's or 30's.I just worried when I read your age as it's a HUGE responsibility. I was 29 years old, happily married, college educated w/ a home and still couldn't believe what an undertaking it was. Best of luck!!!!!!


MizNusty - May 4

Are you in the US? From what you say it sounds like you live in a third world country or are in an arranged marriage. If you are not American it may be hard for people to give you advice since your situation is probably very different than most peoples.


tehProgamer - May 4

wow! arent u a little too young to have a baby? also, where will you get money and funds to feed it with ur tender age? cant you wait for at least finishing college?


:) - May 7

no im not from a third world country im from england. its shocking to see people at 13 having children here. but alot of teenagers my age have 1-3 children already. im not saying thats an excuse coz i know im young and its a big responsibility. but i cant bear the thought of regret if i dont do it now because i will never get the chance to be able to cope with it. i am getting alot of help from my parents, they have told me they will support me no matter what, i shall make sure the baby would be fed, i would b___stfeed because its the best thing you can dofor your baby, ill get lots of rest so my milk doesnt dry up, i am very organic anyway, so i shall make my own baby food (i already have all the books on it) i am quiet well prepaired, plus my mother had 5 children and still have all her cribs and baby clothes and high chairs so im opretty set. i know children are alot of money but i have enough luckily to support myself and a child, and my fioncee is also helping to contribute so its all good


wonder - May 7

There is one thing missing from your list of reasons to feel secure: how stable is your relationship with your partner? He is your fiance: would you be ready to be a single parent if he was going to leave in 3 or 4 years? Maybe, even if you take the big decisions of your life earlier than many other people, you should think about taking them in the "right" order: first, your partner and yourself decide whether you are ready for a lifelong commitment, then you get married, and only then do you get pregnant. Unless he is only willing to marry you if you can get pregnant... but that does not sound very hopeful for the quality of your relationship and for your future happiness...


Jessy - May 7

Hey I agree w/ wonder, you should get married first...but all other things considered, it sounds like you're ready to go for the kid..financially and in maturity and knowlegability and you even sound prepared to sacrifice alot...that is very good news...if your fiancee is the same way(sacrificial), then it sounds like you have a rock-solid relationship to lean on for the rest of your life...and the supportive parents are an awesome thing to have as well...good for you, even though I don't agree w/the fact that you've been having s_x already and you're not even married yet...you just better get married now, repent of your mistake and get the puzzle figured together straight and then wait to have s_x again..you must have a man who is willing to stay w/you no matter what..and if he's not...you might as well just prepare for adoption in the future..good luck and God Bless


sheena - May 12

I say go for it if your married


Jessica - May 12

I think that if you want children then its great that your doing it, people need to understand that you won't be able to have them later on and that is why your doing it now. I am sorry that you have to start so early though, but im sure it will all be well worth it in the end. good luck


Alicia - May 12

First of all I wanted to say to some PP's I don't think marriage is necessary to have a child, I am not married. I have been engaged for 2 years but had to delay the wedding for wrist surgery when we originally planned it for (24 hour wait list that could take up to 6 months or even more which would have been right around the wedding day) and then I got pregnant a little earlier than planned and am due a month before when we wanted to get married this time. This has no effect on our ability to raise this baby and is completely unrelated to whether or not my fiance will leave, I know he is not the type of person to walk out like that and marriage does not necessarily make men stay, look at the divorce rates in North America! We are common law and might as well be married, shared bank acct's, living together for 3 years, etc but we do not have a piece of paper that says we're married. Next I wanted to say to OP that maybe you aren't timing intercourse right? Have you tried charting for ovulation so you know when your chances of conceiving are the highest? This may help you, good luck and sorry to hear of your health problems!


sandra - May 12

Dear 17 and trying: First of all I wish you all the best no matter what happens. Secondly I would say many girls/young women are overwhelmed by the responsibility of having a child, and 17 is awfully young no matter how mature you think you may be. I'm sure you feel prepared and if you have support that's great. But just remember: there is a whole world out there, with things to see and do and accomplish, places to go, etc. and there's more to life than having babies. My advice would be to get another doctor's opinion about your condition and focus on your health. If you'll have renal failure in five years, can you cope with a toddler? Medical advances may be different in a few years, and the situation might not be so bleak after all. Talk to a specialist, and make sure you're well-informed about your condition before taking this step. Good luck.


heather - May 13

Hey i just wanted to let you know that you can do this if it's what you want. i'm 19 and have an 8 months old and me and my husband are trying for another baby this month. everybody thinks that we are too young. but we've been together for 6 years. he's in the army and i'm going back to school after our kids are in school. so what if our plans aren't just like everybody elses. you have to do what you want with your life. so if you really want kids then go for it :)


TazTaryn - May 25

You sound as if you are a mature young lady with all the love and support necessary for having a baby, and though I don't think that marriage is an absolute for having a baby I would suggest it. My fiance' and I were together for 4 years before we married and we waited for the wedding night to have s_x. Obviously you can't do that but if your fiance' is in support of having a baby together I'd suggest getting married first. I have always been so proud to be a child from a long standing marriage. Otherwise, go for and best of luck. God Bless


Sana - May 29

Once you are married hon' i say go for it. We only have a short time in this life and having babies is something to beautiful to dely if you are married.


To Lindsay - May 31

Can you not read ?!?! The girl has a MEDICAL CONDITION that is going to prevent her from having children the longer she waits !! She has the love and support of her partner and parents (who have not stolen the crack pipe from you Lindsay sweetie dont worry), and she is financially stable and sounds very mature and like she knows what she wants :) I think there is a helpline for crackheads like you LINDSAY !! HAHAHA



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