Any Baby Regrets

24 Replies
Kaylee anne - November 18

I would like to keep from having a baby for a about a year or so with my husband. But it seems impossible, Everytime I talk to people about babies they always tell me how much they love their kids and they would never change anything. I would like to hear from some people ages (18-28) that would advise me OTHER WISE with some good reasons please. I really would like to wait but can't seem to. Is it true that things will fall into place after the baby?


Yes!! - November 19

Everything just kind of falls together and life goes on, I don't really know any other way to put it. If your really trying to wait, take some birth control and enjoy the thoughts of what it will be like for when you do have kids!!


Rachael mommy2lucas - November 19

Everything absolutely falls into place. If you wait until you are "ready", you will never get pregnant. I am 28 and just had my first baby after a lot of trying, and being told I may never conceive due to having level4 endometriosis. Lucas is 3 months old, and although motherhood is the toughest job you'll ever love, I could never imagine a world without him again. He is the most precious, beautiful gift I have ever been given. I don't need anything else but to look at that little pudgy face the rest of my life. And he is colicky and cranky and has had a rough time the first few months of life. I am sleep deprived and worn out and I still wouldn't trade it for a million bucks.


*X* - November 19

To Kaylee anne: I highly doubt, even if people made the wrong move in having children, that anyone would ever say that they "regret" it. To Rachael: I disagree. I've waited until I'm ready (which I am now). Why does that mean I'll never get pregnant?


duh x - November 19

She was saying that one is never "completely ready" to have a child. there is always something more that could have been done because no one is perfect and can plan exactly. So argumentative on all these threads....


Bonnie - November 19

How is she being arguementative? It's almost like you have to stalk her from thread to thread. My DH and I also waited until we felt we had done enough and were fully ready. We waited a full 7 years before even trying. The right time is up to each individual. But it is certainly an a__sumption that no one is ever completely ready. We waited until we were.


Kaylee anne - November 20

Thank you Rachael for your thoughts on motherhood. also the others that wrote, pleae keep writing(don't fight though) I'm checking this site and it reallys mean a lot to be getting help from all those mothers and mothers to be out there. it really is great to have a post like this and really get some advice. thanks again.


Daisy Jean - November 20

My sis-in-law regrets having her first child so young. She was 19. She said she would have enjoyed the experience more if she was about 25 or 26. Kaylee Anne, Can I ask how old you are? One year is not so long!!


Miranda - November 21

If you want to wait a year or so, then just wait. It goes fast, believe me. If you think you should wait you must have good reasons, and I cannot understand why you would come on here to ask people to talk you out of waiting???


Kaylee anne - November 22

For Miranda, I was hoping people would give me some reasons to make me WANT to wait, when you really want a baby (as most woman that do know) it's very hard to wait and to give yourself reasons to wait. so I was hoping to hear from some mothers reasons that would help, not help like "if you want to wait then wait" real reasons or personal examples. but thanks.....


to kaylee - November 22

If you want to wait,you wait.The reason people say it will fall into place is because you have to make the best of things,and you will naturally love your baby,like you would naturally love anything you wanted.You could have a baby and regret the way your life is,then feel guilty for feeling it,but love the baby.If you are not ready then it can put huge pressure on your relationship,and could break it up,kids are demanding,expensive,and you do feel trapped.Thats why it is important,I feel,to make sure you enjoy yourself before you habe a baby,your freedom,goes as you have a responsibility forever.


Bonnie - November 22

I agree with the last poster. Once you have a child, you will certainly make due and have no regrets about the baby itself. And I can sooooo understand that immediate want of a child (DH and I waited a full 7 years for the right timing). Just remember, once you have the child....the child is wonderful, but other things will change in your life. Traveling, dates, even s_x.....all have to be planned around the child. Basically, no more spontaneity, everything must be planned. Can't really grab your hubby and go at it on the kitchen table anymore :P heh..........Only you know when the right time is. Just make sure you and your DH have enough time for yourselves first. The want won't go away, but you have a ton of time left for enjoy your alone time while you can. It's something you won't have for a while. :)


Kaylee anne - November 22

Thanks Bonnie and the post before you: you guys have given me lots to think about (in a good way) this is the kind of help I was hoping to get when I made this post and it has been very helpful. Thank You :)


sherry - November 30

i had a child at 18, and i do not regret having him, though it was very hard, cause he ended up being very ill, and needing alot of care, which made it harder then having a normal child. he has since pa__sed away, and i often wonder....would he have been better off, not being born, then living a life full of pain everyday? i don't know the answer to that one, but the life he did have, i made as sweet as possible, and he changed mine in many great ways, so i know he was meant to be. right now, i have a 4 month old daughter, and just turned 30. let me tell you it's a rough job! constant attention, entertaining, and lack of sleep. it's a 24-7 job, that should NOT be entered into lightly. i don't regret having her. i regret not spending a bit more alone time with my hubby first, even though we had time together before, i miss him a bit now, but would i change it?? no. i love her to pieces, and as long as you are going in with eyes wide open, i say good luck to you! (hugs)


sherry - November 30

ps- everything should fall into place FIRST, and then adding a baby will be a good idea. a baby doesn't solve any relationship woes. that i know first hand from my 1st son. quite the contrary! me and my hubby now had a perfect relationship, and we love our baby, but there is a small strain there at times, but we are a strong team. be a strong team, then have your baby. you are young, you got time, though i have ttc-ed, and i know, it's very hard to wait, when you got "baby, baby, baby" on the brain. good luck to you:)


marcie. - December 1

Kaylee,I would advise you to wait,honestly.The reason people tell you that,is because it is natural,as someone else said,just like if you had a puppy,or a nice house,it is what you wanted.When you have something you do not want,or a baby when the time is wrong,you will love it,but may feel guilty at some feelings you may have "baby blues" etc.A baby does not make the relationship stronger,it can put a lot of pressure on the relationship because a lot of your tme is spent with the baby,a man can feel rejected.also,until you have a baby people do not realise the time,and expense involved plus how tired you get.Also you are responsible for life.It is a decision that should be taken seriously,as you are doing.I would really wait if I were you.Things can fall intgo place when you have a baby,but it can really stress the relationship,and it is hard work.Your life changes dramatically,it is bound to.I enjoyed having time on my own with my husband,and adult friends,before being "trapped" if you like with a dependent.It is nice having money for yourself for a start,nice doing what you want,not for your baby.Speak to people without children,who has chosen to wait,hear a different perspective.I enjoyed saving up,having a nice home and work,before having children.


to Kaylee Anne - December 5

For many reasons, I'm almost 30 & now pregnant for the first time. I didn't exactly do that on purpose, but I'm glad it happened that way. I wasn't ready before this. I dated only women until I was 27, and then dated a few men, but now I'm with the right person & at a much more mature level in my own self than I was even a few years ago. A year does make a big difference sometimes. This was a little big of a surprise, but it was also very much desired by both of us. We kept talking about waiting a year or two, but our subliminal wishes took us over & we stopped being so careful with protection. I'm 21 weeks pregant now, and so far... I wouldn't change a thing. And while we were together, I helped an ex raise her baby from birth to eight months, and know the realities of have a baby at least through that. I can't wait to meet my son! :)



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