Can We Stop

18 Replies
amanda - October 11

Everyone can we please stop this ridiculous behavior? You don't like my choice to get married young, I think that's fine, its your opinion. but it was my decision, its my life, my husband, my children, my consequences, and my money that is going to pay for my child. Does anyone notice the word I am using? MY. that's what it comes down to, its all my decision, its not yours and i will not feel sorry or bad about anyone of my decisions because i don't regret them. if me and my husband split up down the road then i will have to live with that, not you. you are saying i am immature because i don't see anything wrong with getting married so young, well i am sorry but i don't, i love being married, i love my husband and i love my life and if you have a problem with it then that is your problem not mine. and while people are calling me immature, i cant go on any posts on this site because every time i post something, people come there and put it down. i am trying to give advice or support and you more "mature" people are telling them not to listen to me, or that i am attacking people when i am simply telling them how this site is, and people trying to taunt me trying to get me to be rude and post on posts that i said i was done with. is that very mature? my opinion would be no, if you were so mature you would just give it up, you have said what you had to say but you have to keep on fighting with us. i wonder why that is. you have made it clear that no young person can possible be right, no matter what they are saying, i mean there is a post on here that is saying the same thing that you are trying to (discourage teen pregnancy) and she is still getting negative posts, why is that? i don't expect anyone to support my decision but i do expect the same treatment that i give and obviously that is not something you agree on. and those who are asking what will happen if my kids ask "why cant i sleep with that boy" (when they are 13), you were married at 14. well at 13 some teenagers are having s_x, its that simple, but my kids will know about s_x, they will know how to protect themselves properly and they will probably not have to grow up as fast as i did. would i want my kids to be having s_x at 13? no i would not, but it happens, the only thing i can do for them is make sure they know about safe s_x. no parent can stop their children from having s_x, they go to school, they go to the mall, they go to their friends house or whatever, you cant watch them 24 hours a day, if they want to go out and see some boy they will lie, they will say they have to stay after school, or have their friends lie etc. the people that say i don't have to worry about birth control or my teenager becoming pregnant, because i am such a good parent, my kids know better, i didn't have s_x until i was married etc. will be the ones that will probably end up getting completely shocked when their daughter/son comes home and says mom i am pregnant/or my girlfriends pregnant. but anyway every teenager on this forum knows that you don't support them but if they even try to defend themselves they are attacking or immature? we cant defend our self's or try to explain anything without being told we are wrong, immature, or without morals? sounds like a very fair place to come to. i never once asked anyone's opinion on my marriage, i didn't ask anyone's opinion on if its the right choice to try to have a baby or not, i do expect people to try to discourage me getting pregnant but i do not expect anyone to talk about my marriage. that is a sacred thing, you want to talk about my immaturity, i shouldn't have kids, blah blah, but that is my marriage and that is the most important thing to me and i do not appreciate anyone coming on here and telling me that it is wrong. how dare anyone judge me or my marriage? you are not god. you have no right to judge anyone but your self. you should remember that everyone is different, they make different decisions, they become different people, and that's the way it is supposed to be. in the end the only thing that matters is how they feel about themselves. you want to think that your way is the only right way then that is fine, that was the right choice for you but that is not the case for everyone. and putting people down because they didn't do things the way you did them is not right, it is wrong and rude. but what should i expect from a public forum where the only thing that happens is fighting and people being rude. the people that keep talking about me, should honestly just leave me alone because you calling me immature while taunting me is not making a very good point. anyway i just wanted to ask if we could just stop this and start talking about the things that we should be talking about, like i don't know pregnancy. this is a pregnancy forum right? i don't know but if that's not possible then i am sorry for you and i will include you in my prayers.and for those who keep saying its illegal its illegal, its not. its illegal in the UK, not the US. just like s_x is until the age of 16 right? but it is not illegal in the US. for some reason its legal and until it becomes illegal then talk to the government about it, don't come and tell me that it is wrong because obviously if i am married my government doesn't think so. well anyway have a good day.

 

Kal - October 11

Amanda...I haven't read all of your post, but I have got the basic gist. If you don't want people to comment on your choices and experience, if you feel it's inapproppriate for people to give their opinions on your choices...posting them on a forum isn't really the best thing to do. I know that you are fighting your corner, but in all honesty, the mature thing to do would be to just let people get on with it. If you keep posting messages with an aggressive tone, you will most likely receive aggressive sounding replies. If you are confident in your choices, just be confident quietly; there's no need to post your life story and your views over and over again. We all know that there are some confrontational people on these boards - it would be best to ignore these people. Posts such as yours are like a red rag to a bull...they simply make these people want to argue more. I hope you will understand what I'm trying to say here - stop fighting, be mature about this, and don't antagonise the people who want to argue with you. There's no need.

 

amanda - October 11

I have tried to let people get on with it and not post to anyone that was saying something that I didn't like but now I am just asking if we can move on from it. And if that doesn't work then maybe they can just do it on this post instead of everyone else's, so they can get the responses they need.

 

amanda - October 11

i don't think that it is inappropriate to give opinions but i do think that it is inappropriate to tell them continuously that they are wrong. and i am not trying to come off as aggressive, i am angry, i want people to get onto other things, but i do not know anyone who will not defend themselves when people will not quit talking about them. i should be able to post that i am married without everyone jumping all over me and telling me that I was wrong. If people taunt me constantly trying to get me to be rude then I am going to come back and defend myself, I am not going to let anyone talk about my marriage without saying something about it. I do know what you are trying to say, and your right but my self control only goes so far.

 

nicole. - October 11

Hang on a moment,you are saying to people "stop this ridiculous behaviour".Just like a baby it takes two,as Kal says if you don't want people to keep on at you,then quit,move on,change the subject,funnily enough people will answer on a subject!!!!!!However,you want to keep on about marrying young,then rightly so,people will say how wrong it is,you are too young,too immature,did your boyfriend respect,why the rush,what an example,you are a kid....etc etc etc.All those points raised by me,Carrie,and others have a valid ponit,shame you cannot see it,if you want to change the subject,because frankly you are getting no-where,then feel free to do so.

 

amanda - October 11

i said can "we" not you. i want to change the subject because its really not your business, and that is not the point of this forum.and i made this post because you are the one that keeps taunting me, trying to get me to be rude, if you want to say something about me and not drop it then can you say it on this post so that other people can actually get answers? i don't want to keep on talking about getting married young but obviously you do so if you have to then please say it on here, you don't agree with me getting married then that's how you feel, i will not change your mind about it and i really don't want to but you talking c___p to me is not going to change how i feel about it. and i dont care if i am not getting anywhere on this forum because its my life and i wouldn't change it for anything. so continue on if you must, but try to remember that this is a pregnancy forum.

 

susan - October 11

I have been reading your posts,having looked on this site 1st time today,you try to come across as mature,yet obviously is not,the way you talk,the way you jump back at people,the way you seem to think that your life is right,yet cannot see the countless replies back,which really is great advice.You would'nt change your life at the moment,because you are young,no worries,not yet had a baby,and think that you are deeply in love with your husband,however,your age,the way you will change when you get a tad older will,hopefully make you see sense.Both my mother and sister I think are slags,slappers,whatever you want to call them,my mother 18 when she had us,then dumped us,my sister 17,and that failed too.I'm not old,so don't write back and say I'm an older wiser women,just know what can happen in families that split because after all when the relationship changes from wanting s_x a lot,to being content with your man,in a grown up relationship you will funally understand how wrong you are,and its people like me from an unhappy family that it affects.Grow up.

 

amanda - October 11

Well, Susan I am sorry that you had a bad family, you can think that I am just a s_x crazed teenager but I am proud of my marriage, and the fact that I have only slept with one person. You think my marriage is a crock then that's fine, and we may end up getting divorced but that's something that 50% of people go through.

 

susan - October 11

I hope to God you have only been sleeping with one person,given your age,I hope my father was my mothers 1st,however,that does'nt change the way she went on,or my father.maybe you are right 50% may get divorced,but at least some of these other give it a go for a few yrs longer before making a commitment.Its true what these women are saying,you change when you get older.Its not fair to bring a kid into the world when your life is changing,As I said I had a rotten childhood,and only now with my boyfriends family am I proud to fit in.I don't want to talk about my parents,my sister at 17 having her 1st,it gives an impression that I migt be like them,an easy lay.

 

Once Again - October 11

If you do not want other people's opinions (and yes, stating you are immature and wrong IS an opinion) than stop putting your life story out there. You don't want your marriage discussed, then you should have never mentioned it in the first place. Telling people you met your husband at age 12 when he is 7 years older than you is GOING to get a response liek it or not. Telling people you got married at 14 is GOING to get a response. You may not like the responses you get. It would be wonderful if you could copmprehend that no one is attacking you, putting you down, or "taunting you" by saying you are immature. You keep starting these same threads over and over and yet never seem to understand that no one is taunting you. People are simply stating that at your age it is too immature to be trying to have children. If you can't accept that people will feel that way, then move on. Unless of course you are TRYING to fight for the fun of it. I'm beginning to wonder.

 

amanda - October 11

at my age my sister had 8 different partners, my cousin who had lost her virginity at 16 had 5 by the time she reached 18,all of my friends have had atleast 3, so that is something to be proud of.

 

Once Again - October 11

And on the subject of divorce....do we think you are destined to get one? Of course not. I hope you have a wonderful happy marriage that lasts forever. But to a__sume you won't is living in a fantasy world, there is always that possibility for ANYONE. It is better to wait a while and make sure the relationship grows enough for the sake of the child. I waited 7 years with my hubby because I wanted to be sure things looked good for the future. DISCLAIMER: Just my opinion, not an attack!

 

amanda - October 11

i don't keep starting any posts, and Nicole and people like her are taunting me by posting on posts that i said i was done with to try to get me to post back and be rude. hum i guess that's not taunting, its just me being over sensitive. i don't care what you think about me because its not your life, you don't have to live it I do, I like it, its great and if people like you don't accept that then that's fine, I am not losing anything because you don't agree with my life style. And if I am so immature then why don't you be the mature one and stop debating with me?

 

susan to amanda. - October 11

Christ I thought my sister was a slag at getting pregnant then marrying at 17,she's now onto her 2nd husband,she had one boyfriend before the one who got her pregnant,if she had s_x with him,that makes 3,not as bad as your sister then!Or your cousin,think I'm getting to know your family background bit like mine,thinks nothing of sleeping about,maybe thats why you cannot understand and see sense.Easy girls..!

 

2: once again - October 11

THERE U R AGAIN LIKE A BAD DISEASE ... EVERYONE STOP REPLYIN TO ONCE AGAIN ALL SHE DOES IS START TROUBLE ... SHE NEEDS TO GROW UP AND GET A LIFE.... I THINK THAT SHE THRIVES OFF EVERYONE FIGHTING .... SHES A SUPER FREAK SUPER FREAK SHES SUPER FREAKY

 

amanda - October 11

and i have said that i know that i may get a divorce over and over again. i dont live in a fantasy world.

 

Once Again - October 11

You have started at least 4 posts like this. Why don;t I stop debating with you? This is a message board about the best age to get pregnant, I am here to post my views the same as you. If you do not like other people's views, then I'm sorry this is not the place to be. And yes, you are being overly sensitive. Just because you say you are done with a post, that means no one else can post on it? Wrong. It is not a bait to make you try to be rude. It is their view. Either handle it, or don;t.

 

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