Do You Young Ones NOT Have Lives

16 Replies
Quigs227 - June 15

now, I'm not trying to be rude to people that have had kids young. My parents had two kids by the time they were 18, and I feel I had a WONDERFUL childhood. When I see someone saying they are 15 and trying to have a kid, I thought back when I was 15 (I'm 24 now, 28w), and I haven't even had my first kiss yet! I was so wrapped up in sports, activities, family, friends, highschool, etc, the LAST THING ON MY MIND WAS HAVING A KID. So to all you young girls out there, maybe you should get an activity in your life? Maybe have somethign to look forward to? Do you really want a kid with someone that is 15 also and have life that much harder for you and your partner and your child? Don't get me wrong--my parents did have my brother and me by the time they were 18--we grew up in a loving home. My parents said we were both a BLESSING, but they were just babies and life was rough for them. I don't get it. When I was 15, 16, 17, 18, etc. all I could think about was school, sports, and of course boys (but not like "ooh I hope he impregnantes me") . Just a thought. Get yourself into something useful and you won't need a baby to fill the void in your life.


marybeth - June 20

My parents also had children young. I consider myself young (21) even though I am married and finished with college (unless I go for a masters...) I couldn't imagine at 13-18 looking for a guy to impregnate me. It just never crossed my mind as a feasible option. I would've looked like a whale in my swim team photos!!!! I realize that girls get pregnant accidentally and I sympathize with them because they may have just had faulty BC and bad luck. But I also have a hard time imagining TTC at that age. To each her/his own.


Quigs227 - June 21

I just think when girls come in here typing "I want a keed and i'm onley forteen and i have wanted this all my life and i'm so in luv w/ a 19 y/o" blah blah blah blah blah. Half the time correct english isn't used. I hope if my kid is a girl that she will have better sense to go out and get impregnated at 14. Marybeth-I'm not in any way trying to put a bad name to younger parents. Mine were awesome and it's so nice that my mom will be a grandmother young. I'm talking about the ones that come on here soley for attention. I am very happy for you. No way would I be ready at 21. I was all about partying and living it up. :) I'm glad I waited. Just dependsd on when you can take it on. And you should consider yourself young (you are!). I'm 24.


Tootsie5c - June 27

I guess I'm slightly offended yet I also agree. I'm 20 and ttc. I'm engaged and finishing up my last year of college. I've wanted kids for years (but we just recently started ttc). The only answer I can come up with is that for centuries before this one, woman were having children at the age of 13, 14, 15, etc. It was common. I guess maybe it might be innate, dating back to our primal instincts of reproduction and survival. I went through a really hard time when I was 16. All I thought about was kids and I really really really had it set in my mind that I wanted one. But I didn't go around looking for a guy to "impregnate" me. I also think its unfair to say that girls have babies to fill voids in their lives. I'm sure that there are some that do, but I know I'm having a child because I love my fiance more than anything, and there is nothing in this world that would make me happier than to bring another human into this world that we can love together.


Dashing101 - July 2

I am 20 yrs old and I already have a 1 and a half yr old little Girl.My husband is 23 yrs old and we are both happily married and we love our daughter.I was VERY active in sports and extra caricular activities growing up. Everyone has there own opinions about how old someone should be when they are growing up.I agree no one should get pregnant unless they are absolutely ready, not only emotionally, but physically and financially. We have been married for two years and we have known each other since we were 12. And we plan on having more kids in the future.


Quigs227 - July 3

I don't think you get my point, and I tried and tried to say I'm not dogging on young parents. If you read my comments, I'm sure you'd pick that up. But a 14 year old wanting to get impregnated by a 19 year old and comes on here and does not talk in proper english? Give me a break. I can have my opinion on matters like that. I don't think you should have a child when you're a child yourself (14 is what? a freshman in highschool?). Again, my parents were married at 17, had me at 18. How cool is it now that i'm so close to my mom? However, some situations I think is ridiculous, especially when they type "He has another wooman b___t I no he wants me to have his babie". Come on now, it's either a lie or she just wants attention. Again, read all of my posts and realize I was not trying to offend younger parents.


pba74 - July 6

QUIGGS -- I was so wrapped in activities and working that I didn't start dating until I was 22 going on 23...that was when I had my first kiss. - I get what you are saying though. I teach 13 & 14 year olds and many times they are seeking attention and the need to loved back and to love something. They want so bad to be grown up and be part of that world, yet they are so young and have so much growing up to do. The girls that I know - their parents work jobs of all hours and they are left alone most of the time to grow up; whereas my parents raised me. My parents knew what activities I was in and attend all of my events, but my girls (students) don't have that kind of support. Does that make any sense? If they have a baby or go out with a man a little older but a lot less mature, they are doing it because they are looking for their independence and need to be loved. Unfortunately, they end up on the wrong path. I don't blame these girls as much as I do their parents....AGAIN, I'm only speaking from my expereinces with my students! There are many parents who are involved in their child(rens) lives and the girls still seek attention and want to have babies young.....


Jacque - December 29

The pregnant fourteen year old with bad English doesn't make me angry it makes me sad. Do any of us know her circ_mstances or what she has been through in life? If she is wanting to get pregnant and can't articulate her own language correctly at 14, I don't think it is entirely her fault. It's a cycle. She most likely isn't ready to be a mother, but I'm guessing this all has to do with social economics. She probably didn't have people in her life guiding her or teaching her. Let's face it, public schooling sucks and unless the child is naturally a genius she won't learn anything at school with out support at home. If it really upsets you, Instead of blogging condescending words to girls like her, why don't you get involved in your community and try to help prevent this from happening. Have some humanity and be grateful for the examples you have had in your life, expand your mind to realize that not everyone is so fortunate


Quantess - January 4

Do they not have lives? you ask. Once they have a kid they won't have a life of their own for years! They will be robbed of many fun experiences that other, childless girls have. And for those who are thinking that their "life sucks right now anyway, I don't have a social life, so why not have a kid" Just remember that things change. You may become popular after high school, or you may want to pursue a great career. Well, that's going to be difficult with a baby, won't it? Also, a single woman without a baby is a lot more attractive to men than a single woman with a baby. A single, childless young woman still has all her options.


JacqueMom - January 5

True your options are limited as a single woman with a baby, but it is insensitive to say she is unattractive. Someone who doesn't have it together can be unattractive, but I know plenty childless people who appear unattractive for that reason. Don't stereotype it to young moms. You've never done something stupid because you felt alone or confused or misguided? A young and single mom can be VERY attractive if she has her blankety blank together. Infact I would be so impressed if I came across a single mother who was young and took care of her child as well as accomplished her personal goals ie graduating high school. I dont recommend going out and getting preggo at 15, bad idea, but if you have found yourself in that situation all is not lost. Its going to be very hard but its so possible, women are a magnificent s_x. Boo to anyone who says your life is over if you are young and pregnant.


kaylapylot - January 6

Being in the teaching profession I know that kids are growing up alot faster and I think you guys all have great opinions and I do believe that having a child before the age of twenty isn't the best idea, but I also have trouble nowadays because people sound so judgemental. We all know that planning to have a child before twenty isn't the best but how are we to judge their situations. Maybe they don't have positive role models. Everyone makes mistakes and they only way people learn is by making mistakes. I think people need to talk to this kids and explain what having a children entales not just critize them once they get pregnant. I think its unfair to just say they don't have lives, i think parents need to explain to their children consquences of having s_x not just a__sume that their too young to know. Children at fourteen don't have the mental capacity to make good desicions parents, if they are involved need to take some inciative and responsibility too.


samba01 - January 9

i feel sorry for them! i know exactly what you mean! waaay too young! i was still playing barbies at 13 =P. im 22 now, and im not pregnant, but am hoping in the near future to find my perfect mate =oD and settle down...even though i even feel too young at 22! so being 14 would be crazy! or even 18! your still a child yourself!


babyxrawrz - January 10

Things have changed so much over time, there's so much more peer pressure and not enough education. People are becoming so much more manipulating towards younger girls they think they have to be that way in order to feel older or fit in. There's not enough s_x ed for these kids to be learning the dangers of having s_x and what not.. atleast not enough indepth education. When i was 14 was seeing this 16 year old kid.. there's a huge maturity difference between a 14 yr old and 16.. It's not the kids fault they're doing these things.. well it partially is but not completely.. they're still young and dont completely understand the consequences..parents need to step in and intervene in their kids lives and teach them right from wrong. I'm young and i wish my parents would of had a 's_x talk' with me. or even talk to me about the safteys. Parents are just in denial that their kids are s_xually active.


csws347 - September 5

There are a lot of children today trying to get pregnant at such a young age. There's even adults that are trying to and they aren't ready. I hope I don't offend anyone, I just mean, I'm 22 and I have a beautiful five month old. Twenty two is a young age for a lot of people, but I also feel a 38 year-old that hasn't found a supportive husband and is just trying to get pregnant to feel loved by someone is just as crazy as someone that is fourteen. Granted, they may be more financially stable, but it's the same concept. I don't agree with teen pregnancy in the least bit. I was pregnant at 18 and engaged and we lost our daughter. My husband and I are better people because of it, even though I would still give anything to have her. However, being married for almost four years now, I realize that having a child before enjoying time with your spouse is crazy. I know not everyone agrees. I mean, I love my hubby so much that I wanted to have a child with him to show him that, but children are blessings and also a strain on a marriage. Too many people put their children first and then divorce rates goes up. They haven't had the time with each other that they need to be able to enjoy each other and then they add a baby to it, which causes so much emotional strain. The focus is no longer on the marriage and that can cause infidelity and arguments or anything of that nature. That's why I feel that anyone who is planning on having a child should be married (call me old fashioned, even though I'm still "young") and plan to still "date" at least once a month after they have a baby. Their marriage is more important than their children because one day their children will grow up and leave them and they will be roommates with a stranger. I worked in a law firm and saw too many marriages end in divorce after forty years because "they just didn't know each other anymore" because their children were first. So, for any teenagers that feel that that child is going to fill your void and be someone to love, remember you will always love them, but it's not going to be an easy life and one day they will go on with their lives and love someone else. So consider, instead, to find someone that you can love now. Help at a day care or a church Sunday school. Babysit. Play with children as much as you can, but don't try to have one of your own. You will miss out on a lot and it will be harder for you and it will be harder on your child. Remember, your actions impact your child and the way you have relationships with other people can shape the way they end up in relationships. If you want to really have children and give them all you can, wait until you are old enough to do so and ready enough to show them what love really is.


lisavasquez_18 - October 21



melip82 - October 3

Saying that children aged 13,14,15 were having babies back in old times for centuries is hardly a comparison. Times were different. Those "children" had important responsibilties around the household and were expected to contribute by working. They hardly had time to be "children". So it is natural that they would be more mature, getting married, and taking care of a household. Teens nowadays have all the comforts that mom and dad supply to them-cell phones, allowances, trendy clothes, cars, etc. Teenagers that get pregnant are allowed government a__sistance to pay for medical expenses and food, housing, etc. The problem is most teenagers know there is going to be someone somewhere to bail them out and help so they do what they please not understanding the repurcussions. Lord knows they couldn't do it alone in this day and age.


daniellerenee - February 21

Hi Everyone , I think this topic relates to different people in different ways i have learnt with this site that alot of people are from usa , which means alot of girls dont become adults or have a life until they are 21 , I am from Australia and here our Adult hood starts at 18 ! So to have a baby at 20 isnt exactly young because most people live out of home have full time jobs and finished school a few years back ! I graduated school when i was 16 i then went to university and have a degree i am only 20 and now have been living out of home for 3 years and been with my partner for 4 and am happily engaged and earn over 110 thousand a year so yes we are able to have a child and i believe that age dose not matter !!!!



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