19 Replies
alicia#1 - May 1

I just got married to my husband. I am 21 yrs old. Everyone wants to throw in their two cents about marriage. Everyone said dont get married at a young age because u might change as u grow older. My question is.. what makes a marriage work, not just for a while, but what makes it have longevity??


frankschick2001 - May 1

A sense of humor


JESS1980 - May 4

Hi Alicia! Don't worry about what other people think. All that matters is how YOU and your HUSAND feel. Personally, I don't think 21 is too young to get married. I was a college graduate at 21 and independently supporting myself.....so there are plenty of mature 21-year olds in the world. Also, my mom married my dad when she was 17.....and they've been HAPPILY married for 40 years. The most important thing in a marriage is love and trust. If you have those two things, I think you'll be very happy! Good Luck to you!!!


Chris23 - May 4

Hi alicia. I'm 23 and got married in December. Don't take the critics to heart. To each their own but if you're happy, that's all that matters. My husband and I were great friends before we married and are even more so now - i think that is the key to our marriage. Good luck!!


Emma2 - May 4

I am glad you are asking this question but really there is nothing anyone can say that will work for you or him because eveyrone is different. You have to do some self discovery and gorw togther and learn together.....


nursej - May 24

well alicia #1 i am 24 y/o and i just got married 3-11-06. my husband is much older than i he is 42 y/o but we were engaged 3 years almost. i don't care what people say if you love your husband and he loves you, **** what people say!!!


venus_in_scorpio - May 24

hey - i'm 20 and I got married when I was 18. Dont listen to anyone... its up to you. I faced a lot of criticism too but its working out fine. My parents got married when my mom was 16 and they were together 30 years intil his untimely pa__sing (cancer). It can work out being married young. my friends all gave me heat about getting married and pregnant young but I am in a different point in my life than them so they cant judge me ya know?


venus_in_scorpio - May 24

it helps a LOT A LOT LOT to live together first.


angie m - May 24

Alicia, I got married at 19. I was 8 months pregnant at the time with my second baby, his first. I knew that my hubby only married me because I was having his baby. He loved me but I know he would have waited. No one thought we would make it. We will be married for 3 years on the first of June, and are doing great. There was some very hard times in the begining and I even left him once and moved back in with my mom. But when I found out I was pregnant agien we decided to try and work things out. After that (about 2 years ago) things just keep getting better. My mom gave me some great advice when I got married. She told me to decide what would be deal breakers. Like cheeting, or being abusive. That way if something happend that wasn't a deal breaker I knew we could find a way to work it out. It has really helped me to not just give up if my hubby and I are disagreeing on somthing. You will change as you grow but you will change together. Congrats and good luck.


Atarahsmommy - May 26

I got married at 19 and am now 20 and 32 weeks pregnant. Its a year and a half later (I know thats not very long) but we still have not had one single fight, when we were dating we saw eachother everyday as much as we could and we never fought, I wish I could take all the credit, but I know I've had my share of times that I "tried" to fight with him, but the key is to not be selfish, thats all it comes down to. I love him so much and even if I get upset I can't stay upset because I know it is truly not his fault, things happen, and he just doesn't get upset, so that helps. Here is an example, on the way back from our honeymoon, we forgot our $600 camera at the airport (which we had just gotten as a wedding present) and as stressful of a situation as it was, we didn't fight with eachother, we both tried to take the blame for, in the end we got the camera back, and it was still a wonderful experience because we didn't have a fight, what a way that would have been to end our honeymoon, but the key is to take the blame and not be selfish, hope this helps


Atarahsmommy - May 26

oh I forgot to mention, that it works both ways, if only one person is trying not to be selfish then it wont work out for vvery long


Lin - June 14

What makes it have longevity? Don't even think about having kids yet. Enjoy your time to yourselves for a few years and solidify your marriage. THEN think about kids.


Atarahsmommy - June 15

I absolutly hate that advice, EVERYONE gave my husband and I that advice, it just so happened that it took us 9 months to get pregnant and stay pregnant, and we did enjoy the time together, but I would not have enjoyed our time any less if we had had our baby 9 months after we got married, I love him, he loves me and we will love our child with just as much love. Our child is a blessing, all children are and I don't think that we should "decide" when we can be blessed or not, I am very glad that I didn't decide to take a few years to "get to know my husband first" or I never would have had my beautiful little Atarah, she is the child that I am ment to have, not one that I decide to have, but the one that I am blessed with


NURSEJ - June 20

i respect ur advice lin, nu i too got pregnant 1 month after getting married to my husband. but we lived together 3 years prior and we were boyfriend and girlfriend 6 years all together..once i graduated college i wanted a baby.. i am 24 years old.. got married 3-11-06


Tina114 - June 22

It's nice to read stories that are very similar to yours... I'm 22 and I got married on 3-11-06. Everyone and there mothers said don't do it your too young... Oh well.... That's what makes us all different poeple. Everyone has their own opinion.. what's important is that you go with your heart and make your own decision... A month and a half after being married I found out I was pregnant. I couldn'y believe but like you said it's a blessing not a decision... Good luck to all of you!!!


kristie h - June 22

I am going to mention sumthing that i dont think anyone else has. The number one key is COMMUNICATION!. I was worried about when i had my son that it would be one of these marriages where you only walk past each other, never sit on the same couch and basically only say hi and goodby. Alot of men and ladies loose there s_x drive and think that its ok, but you have to keep them keen, no matter how long you are married for s_x is a mager part and i dont care what anyone says. When you have a child take time out for you and hubby even if it means put them to bed earlier so you can have a nice dinner together with no kids. Marrige is good untill you have kids thats when alot of marrieges change the other direction as everything is about the kids and we tend to forget our needs our husbands needs and that when things can turn sour. Good luck and congrats!


Mommy - June 23

I got married last year to my husband when I was 17. I have been with him for about 3 and a half years now. The best advice I can give is make sure you both compromise when you don't agree on something. If it's always your way or his way there will be resentment. And Kristie, my DH and I still have a wonderful s_x life. Not everyone ends up prudish and anti-s_x once they have children. I come from a family of 6 with the oldest being 24 and the youngest being 7. I also have an old friend who is the oldest of 11 kids and she's 18 as well as me. So apparently not all s_x dies when you have kids. :o) Chances are if marriages fail once kids are in the mix, it wasn't as strong as you thought the first place. The vows are For better and worse, not until things get too stressful. Congrats to all couples and good luck through your respective lives. :o)



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