Question About Age

30 Replies
kayla_shauntel_05 - June 28

I was just wanting to know something. I am 18 and have a baby, I will be 19 on August 1st. My daughter was born on May 26th. When women talk about these "stupid teenage girls trying to get pregnant" what age group are you talking about? To me, 18 seems old enough to have a baby, because you are legally an adult. I could not imagine bashing an 18 year old for having a baby, they are technically an adult, although maybe not mentally. I understand some of these post are really annoying, like 13 and 14 year old girls wanting babies, but do you consider 18 up in the same category as the 13-17 year olds?


Bonnie - June 29

No, I consider 18 to be an adult. I DO think it is a pretty young age to be having a baby. I think at that age you will still be missing out on some things in life. But if you are 18, living on your own and are stable enough, then it is your choice. As long as you can provide a good home and be a good mother without having to rely on anyone else, it's your call to make. Young girls living t home with mommy still and wanting to have a babby need a serious reality check. Ther eis definately a difference. In the end, it really comes down to each situation. 18 year olds IMO are less likely to be in a good position to have a baby. But I would not stereotype every 18 year old liek that. Some are very mature, earn a lot of money, and be in a good relationship and able to handle the hardhsips of parenting. Just like some 30+ year olds are terrible mothers. And maybe I am biased being an old fart mylse :P but I have yet to see a 14 year old be a good mother.


kayla_shauntel_05 - June 29

I understand that a lot of people see me as young, but I am very mature for my age. People have told me my whole life that I act a lot older than I am. People that meet me and talk to me always think that I am in my mid twenties. I have had a job since I was 14, I started driving on my own when I was 14 because I had my hardship license because I had a job. I have been with my baby's father since I was 14, he is legally going to be my husband in two weeks! We are staying with my parents right now because we are waiting on our paperwok to go through on a house were trying to buy. I drive a brand new car that my husband pays for. I honestly feel like I am an adult and mature enough to have a baby. My husband is only 17, just turned 17 June 3rd, but he got out of school, got his GED and has a full time job and pays all the bills. I think we are one of the rare examples of teen parents that are mature enough to make it work.


Lin - July 3

And you see no problem with someone NOT being mentally an adult when she has a baby? You think you're mature for your age? So does every other 18 year old. If you're not divorced by the time you're 30, then count yourself as an incredibly rare anomaly.


kristie h - July 3

Kayla_shauntel_05, I dont think that 18 is to young as i had my son at 19, but my now hubby was 24 when i had my son. I am not saying anything wrong so plz dont take it that way. When i read you post above lins i thought "what is this girl talking about, she is happy, she is old enough and yes you sound very mature but then i seen the age of you boyfriend. There is nothing wrong with it i just think that guys mature alot slower then what females do. What i am saying is that you are not to young but i think a guy at 17 having all that responsibility is young. But if you are happy why worry about what other people think do what you feel is right. All the best (HUGZ)


Mommy - July 3

Lin, your comments are always rude and uncalled for. I have an aunt who is very slow, she got married when she was 15 to my uncle, and they are still together at 49 and 55 years old. They have a daughter who has graduated high school validictorian and college in the top 3 of her cla__s. My aunt did everything right when she was pregnant with the help of my great grandma. She didn't eat junk AT ALL, she wasn't around any kind of smoke or drugs, she walked everyday and b___stfed her daughter until she was 2. She had her daughter when she was 16. Yet mentally, my aunt is probably around age 13 or 14. My uncle is also slightly slow. Should they have not been allowed to get married and have a family because their limitations? And 60% of marriages end in divorce. It can happen to ANYONE. Even *gasp* you.


kayla_shauntel_05 - July 3

Bonnie, kristie h, and mommmy thank you for your kind words and for clarifying the answer to my question. As far as I am concerned, Lin, you dont know me or my husband, and I am not every other 18 year old.


JenR - July 4

I can only speak from experience.....I just had my first baby at age 33 and I could not imagine having one 10 or more years ago. You are such a different person and in a different place in your thirties, much less in your twenties and especially teens. I am not bashing, but being emotionally and financially stable really does help a lot. Also, I am glad I waited because my husband is wonderful. Had I had the baby earlier, it would have been with the wrong guy!!! Yes, 18 is an adult, but still so young. Good Luck to you!!! All babies are miracles!


kayla_shauntel_05 - July 4

I couldn't imagine having my daughter when I am in my thirties. My mom is only 37 and I turn 19 soon. My dad just turned 38 today. I am glad my mom had my young and I had my daughter young. My baby has young grandparents that will be around longer, and still has all of her great grandparents and great great grandparents. I know I am not considered as "stable" but my daughter is extremely well provided for.


Jodie86 - July 4

Kayla, personally i think 18 is young, but you sound really mature for your age! I'm 20 and expecting baby number 1! And i think i'm more grown up than most people i know! My friends (the kind of ppl older people relate to when talking about this kind of thing) are still living at home, going out drinking etc etc! I did all that when i was 17/18, and now i'm 20, i feel ready to settle! I mean theres no text book way on how to grow up, unlike most people think! Your ready when your ready! Me and my bf of 2 years live together in a 2 bed house, both have good jobs, i get good maternity leave etc, and were happy!!! Isn't that all what matters? I'm not saying if we'd of waited we'd of been better off, i mean you don't have to be a genius to work that one out, but same for everyone really. But you only live once, why do what society thinks you should?? I don't agree with children having babies though, but to me, that just seems like bad upbringing! When i was 13 i was still being a child! I had my innocence! I've got pictures of me and my sister at the ages of 14 and 15 putting on shows in the front room for my family! We use to make up our own dance routines and everything! I do think people are growning up too quickly, but like i said, you seem really happy and content and succesful too! Which is what a lot of people want to wait for! Good luck with your house too btw, read it in your previous post!


EricaG - July 5

In my opinion it is not an age thing once you hit 18. Everyone is different and I can give you a comparison. I am 19 years old and my husband is 22. We will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary this month and I am 8 months pregnant with our first child. This pregnancy was planned. My husband is an electrical engineer and I am a housewife. We pay all our own bills (yes realistic ones) 715$ rent for our two bedroom townhouse, heat, electric, car payment, car insurance, phone bill, student loans. We have the best health insurance, life insurance policies and are saving for retirement. We just bought a new car and the only reason we haven't bought a house is because we are hoping to get relocated closer to our families (who we are 2 hours away from right now). We have wonderful relationships with our families and friends and nobody batted an eye when we told them I was pregnant. They were overjoyed and not worried at all that I'm too young or too unstable. Then there's my step sister she is also 19 , one month younger than me, married two weeks after me and due with her baby 2 months after I'm due. The major difference here is that she did not do this because it is what she wanted or was ready for. The man she is married to is my ex boyfriend, when I broke up with him, she started dating him the next day, when I decided to get married. she decided she wanted to get married too, on the same day as me, when our parents wouldn't let her do that she settled for 2 weeks after me. When our parents told her I was pregnant she said "I want a baby too!" and was mad at them for being happy for me. 2 months later she announced that she's pregnant. Even though she is the same age as me and has been married just as long as me she is in a totally different situation than me. Neither her nor her husband have any college education, he works at subway and doesn't even have a driver's license, she works at pizza hut and his mom (who is on welfare herself) sends them some money each month. they live in low income housing, don't even have enough money to pay for a phone, rely on medicaid for her prenatal care, their apartment is a filthy mess, and she has alienated her entire family and never sees us anymore. The worst thing is that everyone is so worried about what kind of parent she will be. She is messy and self centered and I can't see her getting up in the middle of the night to feed her crying baby. We are all genuinely scared for her child. Anyway, hopefully this has opened some people's eyes to the fact that you can't stereotype people by their age because everyone is different. I know I will change in the years to come, but I will change wether I'm married with a child or not, and I can't think of a better way to change than to incorporate my husband and children into it and change with them. Good luck everyone :o)


kayla_shauntel_05 - July 7

WE GOT OUR HOUSE!!! Finally, the land lord gave us the okay and said our loan was approved! I am so happy, I am back at my job working full time now (was on maternity leave) and making some good money again!!! I totally agree with you EricaG, you can not stereotype someone by their age. I may be young, but I am honestly mature, mature enough that a lanlord trusted me and my husband to rent to own his house from him. I wish people would learn that some teens can be great parents and make their marriages work. I got married because I love my husband, we were together for four years before we got married, three years before my daughter was conceived, and not just because we have a baby together. I am glad there are some people out there who understand.


Lin - July 9

Mommy - don't act like a child. My comments are NOT uncalled for. They're realistic. Every single woman my age I've ever met who had a child as a teenager got divorced - ALL of them. Too many people rush into marriage and children and think they know everything when they're still children themselves only to realize that they only *thought* they did. Now they need a second chance, because they jumped in too early and found out their rosey pretty world isn't what they thought it was and that they should have waited a bit longer.


kayla_shauntel_05 - July 9

You have never met me, so I do not fit into your stereotype. My parents married when they were 18 years old and they have now been married 19 years. Not all people who marry as teens get divorced. I know that first hand.


Mommy - July 10

How am I acting like a child by stating my opinion? You come on here and act like you have never made a mistake and look down on everyone who's opinion is different than yours. Who are you to say who should have kids and who shouldn't? And people almost always need a second chance with something, I don't care if it's marriage, rehab, putting a child up for adoption or going back to college, people start over for numerous reasons. You can be realistic without being rude.


kayla_shauntel_05 - July 10

Thank you Mommy. You are one of the only people on her who is very polite and takes up for other people.


Mommy - July 10

No problem, Kayla. It just bugs me when people act like their way is the only way and are rude to anyone who thinks differently. I'm proud of the people who do things their way and don't listen to the negativity. Thats all someone who is just starting a family needs to hear is that they made the wrong choices and their relationships will fail. Not always the case. And Kayla, you seem like a very good mother. :o)



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