Ready Or Not

4 Replies
amoredecay - July 7

I'm currently 19 years old. I'll be 20 in Sept. and I've been having the extreme wanting to have a baby. Under normal circ_mstances I would most likely wait until I were married and atleast 22... thats my ideal age. But my situation is that I'm the only child to my parents and they are older then most parents at my age. They also have chronic illnesses and have had these illnesses for years. I want to give my parents a grandchild before they die, while they're still young enough to play with the baby, but I don't want to sacrifice my life to do it. I go to college and have a job, but I still live at home and my boyfriend still lives with his parents. We both are responsible and have talked about having a baby. But even with both of our jobs, we aren't sure we can afford to have a family yet. I know my parents would help, but I don't want to have to burden them with this. I'm confused, can anyone relate?


kristie h - July 8

amordecary, You answerd your own question, you are not ready. I am 21 so i am not here to judge as i have a 1.5 year old son. You said you didnt want to sacrifice your life and the day you fall pregnant that what you have to do you have no choice. You still live at home and so does you man but i think that its not right bringing a child into the world knowing that you have to rely on you parents to help you out with all the cost that come with a baby, as they get older it becomes more costley. To me its not your age thats the problem its you are not financially mentally and independantley ready. No matter how much you want a baby do it cause you are ready in the things i said above and not cause you feel as though your parents are going to miss out. Wait till you get married as you said cause by then you will be ready mentally, financially and more independant to bring a child into the world and you also wont feel that you have burden your parents with all this. Good luck


Lin - July 9

If you have a child now while you're living at home, the reality is that it WILL put a burden on your parents. Wait until you have a place of your own at the very least. In addition, you're best off waiting until you've finished college. You've got loads of time. I agree with what Kristie said, but I'd even add to wait until you've been married a couple years to have time alone for yourself and your husband first. In all reality, I've never known a single woman who had children before the age of 25 and didn't get divorced. What's the worry with you parents' chronic illnesses? Are they also terminal or something? My mother's got several chronic illnesses and has for years, but not one of them is terminal. At any rate, you don't need to have kids by 20 for your parents to enjoy them. I'm 34 and just trying for #1 now. My mother was 30 when she had me, and her mother was 30 when she had her. My mom's plenty young enough to see and enjoy her grandchildren and watch them grow up!


MommyKarah - August 6

Hun if you read your post over and think about everything you said in it then your all your questions will be answerd I don't know you but from readying your post and hearing about your situation you and your BF really aren't even close to being even halfway ready for a child right now :-( and I personally think that YOU know this your just not letting yourself realize it..


amberC - August 24

if you think it is the right time then go boyfriend and i are living with his parents but we are paying for is your boyfriend and ur decision...good luck



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