That Nagging Feeling

5 Replies
Andraia - January 6

I‘ve been having the biggest debate in my life lately, all of which is happening in my head. First off, I’m 22. I've always loved kids so much and even was a 2nd mother to baby of a single mother who had to work for a living and so I watched her kids, from being there when they woke up to putting back down to sleep some days when she wanted to go out later. But this nagging feeling is driving me absolutely wild, its like this unnatural pressure to have a child. Baby signs keep popping out of no where and its just like this huge clash of the t_tans in my mind. I'm a year off of finishing college, I'm with a fantastic loving caring completely amazing guy that I want to settle down with. But it seems like no matter what I look up when it comes to ‘being ready for pregnancy‘ ... the first thing people bring up is... “are you financial stable“... which annoys me so much, but only because its so true. Hell I would be happy with a child without a husband, that’s just the type of person I am, being around children just completes me as a person. I'm there emotionally, I know I can deal with the waking up, the stress, I've had the best times of my life with friends and that phase of my life is over and I know I wouldn’t miss going out to do all that stuff again, I had my fun but I’m done that stage of partying. But this feeling makes me want to break down, its like being in an intense fight but with yourself. My mom says “ something something something… when you’re finished college and have a job for a couple of years…” but honestly when I think of waiting years until I can have a child (or she expects me to want a child) it kills me inside. My boyfriend works full time and is planning to go back to college but has yet to do that… which means I’d have to wait for him to do that too… again… something I think I’m going to have huge troubles doing, but I don’t want to ruin his life by having a kid…. I’m just so unsure of what to do… am I the only one out there at this age that is having the same inner debate with themselves? And what in gods name am I supposed to do about it?!?!

 

llorandoxtuamor - January 18

No, I have the same problem... although you're much better off, almost done with college! I never finished college. I'm 24 and have horrible baby fever. Not sure what to do about it. The waiting kills me, even though I know it's the right thing to do. Does your man know how you're feeling?

 

Andraia - January 20

Its hard eh? I'm still having the problem, and its making me depressed. I just feel that I can't wait, that its something I need to do. I find that some nights its like ' I can't do this, I need one of these tv family lives' and then other its like 'to hell with it, I need it now, my life is different but I accept it' And well, my man, I kinda get mixed signals. I know he's the type of guy to step up and he'd be a wonderful father. But I'm kinda scared to talk to him about it because I dont want to freak him out. Like I dont think he would, but theres always that chance that he may. Really its just something I need for myself, as much as I'd love him to be a father, I could and would do it on my own.

 

Samoria - January 21

Best thing you can do, in my opinion, is talk to your guy. I used to have that 'baby fever' thing...

 

Samoria - January 21

oops, hit enter before I was done. :P I used to have that 'baby fever' thing.. then I got married and was too busy to think about it. At least til I found out.. Surprise. Don't worry about the timing.. it'll come. No need to rush things. You'll get great practice in patience by waiting. ;) And you'll enjoy it when the time does come.

 

DixieMama - January 29

The best thing you can do is to wait until you can give the baby a stable set of parents, mother and father. I understand the urge you feel, but your time will come. You need to talk to your boyfriend about your feelings. Is he ready to commit to you? Finances are a consideration, but giving your child both parents is the best thing you can do to ensure their success in life. You wouldn't want to make a selfish decision to have child without considering his/her future. The other thing I would suggest is that you get a job that fulfills your desire to love and care children-- a daycare center where you can be with and love the little children and babies while their parents are away. Just keep thinking--my time will come. Best of luck...

 

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