Want Advice

2 Replies
WestD - August 27

hey me and my boyfriend are 17 and i want some advice on what to do before we think about having a baby together, we both feel we are ready but.. we are not financially ready so we are going to wait, were both going to college and then see how we feel then and make sure we save up money for the baby and were both getting jobs aswell and saving up money for the child and a house can i have anymore advice if this is the right decision please and thank you x danielle x


csws347 - September 5

Only you know what is right for you, but as I've said in other posts, it's not best to have a child that young. I'm 22 and have a 5 month old with my hubby of 4 years. I love my hubby so much and knew I wanted to have a family with him, but everyday I miss him. Children take a lot away from your relationships. It's not just hard financially, it's incredibly hard emotionally. You and your boyfriend will start to focus more attention on your child, and it will be completely unintentional. It will take away from your relationship. I know that if my hubby and I had a child at a younger age (we almost did, but we lost her when I was 18) we probably wouldn't still be together, and I don't believe in divorce. It takes so much effort to work on your relationship as it is, and to add another person to the mix makes it almost impossible. Just think if you had a roommate. One that was really good friends with your boyfriend and because of that they CONSTANTLY played video games together. At first, you would be okay with it. It would just be a few hours every once in a while. Then, it would be every night and then for hours on end. You would come home, and he would be playing. You would wake up and he would still be sleeping because he stayed up so late playing. Then you will feel rejected and start losing your relationship. Say then you point it out to him and then you fight about it and it pushes him away. I know that seems extreme, but honestly, that's how it is with a baby. When my daughter needs to be fed, she has to be fed. It doesn't matter if my husband has been working all day long and just got home and he has to go to bed in an hour because he has an early shift. She still has to be fed. So for that hour I want to be spending with him, I'm taking care of her. Feeding her, giving her a bath, reading to her, and trying to get her to go to sleep. All the while my husband is wathcing TV or sleeping or whatever. Please, think about that. If you love your boyfriend, try to enjoy your time with him. You will never regret having a child, but you might regret how much time a child can take away from your relationship. And not only that, but how much you won't be able to do for a long time with your significant other.


NavyMom - October 28

I think you made a good decision. It is challenging to raise a child knowing that you're not financially stable. I think you have a good head on your shoulders. Stay in school, and tell your BF to keep going to school, too. The last thing you want, is to get pregnant right now, at age 17, drop out of school, and with this bad economic time, end up competing with 500 others for one opening position paying $9/HR at some store. I would wait to get married, then see how much he helps around the house, and have him take a baby bootcamp cla__s or something. Make sure he is ok being around babies. Good luck!



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