What Is Ready

34 Replies
Shannon - December 26

ok i have been reading all the posts on here and the all say the same thing "wait untill you are ready" well what is ready ypou are never ready to have a child its not possable no matter the age or how much money you have or if you have a good job ok yes ithese young girls should wait untill they are older but you'll never really be ready..


agree - December 31

I totally agree with you! "When is ready?" I know many of women who have waited till they did this or that... and when they got pg, they werent ready then either! A baby comes when its ready, not when we are! That just life :)P


agree 2 - December 31

To me "ready" is when you have had time to experence life.For some it is mid twenty's and others it is in their thirty's.I do agree their is no such thig as the "right" time.It is best to have a career to fall back on.Life is unpredictable.A baby is final and can't be put back.


Lace - January 3

Yet, there are those women who got their careers, and then it was too late. Don't wait too long.


to lace - January 3

Nobody said have a career for ten years first.Atleast finish school and get started for a few months.


... - January 3

Well i am 6 weeks pg! And i cant say that i am fully ready, but hey i am ready enough! I have a full time job, and make great money! Plus i am a year shy from getting my degree! My hubby is military.. and he gets paid well. But still, it can be stressful! But who isnt when they are pg? I would change it! I am in my early 20s and i can say that i rather have a child now then 6-7 years down the line! I dont even plan to use my degree, cause i love my job now, and wouldnt want to change it! And people go to school for YEARS... I think everyone is different on "right times" But a bay is going to come if you are ready or not!


... - January 3

Sry for the typos..


Mel - January 10

"Ready" means when you have enough money and time to devote to motherhood. Got it?


Joanne - January 11

I don't think it's so much the person being ready to be honest, i think its more of 'is your body ready'? You don't stop developing until your 21, and under the age of 16 i really don't think you could be! But then again, i always say, life's too short, if it's what you want then go for it, i just think these girls forget about the emotional and physical strain of pregnancy. But I'd say the same for someone over the age of 40 as well. There's a lot more complications! Just my opinion, i don't mean to offend anyone!


marcie. - January 13

I agree especially mels.When you have time and money.When you leave school,you have no idea where your path will lead,if you want a career,if you will stay with your boyfriend,keep in touch with friends.This is the normal decision,if you get pregnant that is taken away,you have another decision,with the baby your focal point.You may end up not loving your boyfriend after all,and regret having a child with someone who grows up to be so different to yourself,but unforchantly you will always have a link to him.Think it through,is it not more sensible,to grow up first,enjoy your freedom,and some say the best time in your life.I felt ready,when everything was right,I love my husband so much,and know everything about the way he is,what he thinks of things etc,had a comfotable morgage,happy in life,ready in my career to leave or come back,no thoughts of more exams to go up the career ladder,everything seemed just right at that point in my life.Women do not realise how a baby changes their lives,yes you love it,but a baby is so demanding,you get tired,drained even,your relationship changes with your partner,also babies are expensive,and your freedom gone,I'm not talking parties,but even things like popping down the shops,watching a film on T.V the baby either comes with you,or it may take many nights to watch the film you wanted.


ktlee - April 14

I have been reading alot of posts about "waiting until you are ready". I have to say that I am not quite sure if there is such thing as being ready. It doesnt matter what age you are, you are never ready to have a child. I am 23 and my husband is 25. We have been married for 3 yrs. I am in my last semester of college where i am obtaining my BA in Childhood education. I live with my inlaws in an apartment connected to their house. (It's a two family house) I know that i would love to have kids, but in my case i am not finacially ready. My husband is a farmer and we dont make alot of money. We have all the brand new toys, the brand new cars, we aren't lacking anything. So in my case, being ready is when i am done reaching the goals that i set for myself ever since i was 15. I look at all my friends who have kids and wish that we had one. But then i look at the struggles that they have and half of them aren't married and have no career. I guess what i am trying to say, is that waiting until you are "ready" depends on how you feel and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Although everyone always asks me why we dont have kids and when are we going to have them, i tell everyone that there are things in life that i want to do before i bring children into this world. I am not saying that having lots of money is the key to being ready. I grew up in a low income family. I was a child who got hand me downs, never had name brand clothes. never ate out, my father is a farmer and my mom stayed home. she had me at 19 and my father was 23. Then they had my sister 2 yrs later, then my other sister 5 yrs after that then oops.. my little brother 6 yrs after that. We never left the county that we lived in. we never went to the movies. So as i was saying before. Have them when you want them, but don't have them if you aren't willing to be a "mom".


MystinaAlise - April 15

i would really like it if some of the women who waited until they were older (28+) would be completely honest with themselves and everyone else... if you wait until you have the time and the money you will be 60 before you have kids... if everyone was being totally honest they would tell you that it is hard as hell no matter how old you are and it can be scary and confusing... but it is worth it!!! all of the sleepless nights and the crying and droolings and the "social life" you give up... none of those things come close to the feeling you will have when you see how much you love your baby and how much s/he loves you back...


JB0405 - April 15

I agree that there is never an exact time when you are READY!!! I am 30, married for 7 months and we've been together for 6 years... We are trying and I am not done with college, I am still attending and will continue to do so...but waiting till after college doesn't mean you are any more ready than someone like me who is still attending or someone who just started...I am a junior in college but this is what we really want and although we both work full time... there will never be enough money, enough time, etc.


Bonnie - April 15

I am 34 and just had mine in January. My DH and I have been married for 8 years. We waited until we felt ready. I had been ready for quite a while but DH was not so I waited for him. So you can "somewhat" be ready. Where things perfect? No. Financially we could have still been better. But emotionally we waited until we felt ready. I don't think you necessarily have to wait until you are in your 30's like I did to have a child. The right time is different for all. But if you are under 18 and still relying on mommy and daddy to pay your bills, I would say you are not ready. If you are able to support yourself and not have to rely on your parents OR your boyfriend to be tehre for you then it might be a different story. Regardless, the best thing to consider is what would be best for the baby. We can't always choose what happens to us. But knowingly trying to become prregnant without a stable home and both loving parents is not the ideal thing to do.


Clairejow - April 19

I think that for anyone considering having children its important to have had other life experiences yourself first which you can reflect on, learn from and have enjoyable memories to make you a pa__sionate person and inspiring person. (And I mean independantly as adults). I don't yet have kids but can you imagine how many decisions you have to make on their behalf! Surely you need some life experience on which to base these decisions. Personally, I saved up hard and to go traveling and work abroad for 18 months. I'm not saying at all that everyone should do just this, but doing anything that makes you a more interesting person can only rub off on your children. Children look up to adults, give them someone to aspire to and be proud of!! Also, children grow up fast and will need less and less of your time, (as any teenages thinking of having children themselves will know),. but of course still need your love. I think you've got to be careful not to revolve your life around children, make sure you keep some of your life separate. Or it could lead to you losing your sense of self when the children want their own life. I am not trying to dictate that everyone should wait to have children, but just wanted to share my thoughts for others to think about. xx


JB0405 - April 19

Claire, Very insightful post!!


stacey82 - April 19

I agree with you ladies that some young women are not ready or prepared for motherhood and have not had enough life experiences to settle down to being a parent, but I just wanted to share my 'story'. I am 23, I have two sons, aged 3 and 2 and I married at 19. I know that it all seems a lot at a young age but I am absolutely in love with my children and spend every minute thinking about their happiness, their health, their future. I completely dedicate my life to my boys and believe I am a good mum. My family and my dh's family tell me I am very good with the boys and seem surprised that I am doing a good job. I appreciate their compliments but get annoyed that people expect me to do a rubbish job of raising my children because I am a little younger than the average parent. I get stared at in supermarkets and am constantly being asked my age, followed by the comment 'you've got your hands full haven't you?' I would love to reply, 'i have, yes, but I love every minute of it.' I have friends who are the same age as me with children who are not doing a good job and I wonder whether they enjoy being a mummy, but not all young women are rubbish mothers. Some older women I know had children, went back to work after 6 weeks and the children have been in full-time nursery since, being raised by strangers. Then they come home from work, eat and put the child in bed. What is the point of having a child if you don't enjoy it? I am not suggesting all older parents are like this either but I think we can find examples of good and bad parents in any age group, I hate stereotypes.



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