Would Trying For A Baby Now Be For The Right Reason

4 Replies
ashtonw12 - February 27

Hi my names Ashton and im 19 soon to be 20. Ive been married for a little over a yr now and currently attending college. My husband is in the Marines and will deploy to Afganistan in about 3 months. We both really would love to try before he leaves but I feel what is stopping me is my family is not exactly supportive of the situation. They feel I want a baby for the wrong reasons. But honestly, im sure for anyone in this siuation, the thought of him maybe being killed scares me and I would love to be able to say no matter what I will always have a part of him. Do you feel I should wait cause this is'nt for the right reason or should we really try? Thanks for your help


Samoria - March 3

People have children for many different reasons. Some have them to 'keep' the other person in the relationship. Some have them 'just because they got pregnant.' Whatever your reasons are, just make sure that the child is the first thing in your life. The people that have children for 'looks' and then expect others to care for it or that it would be easy... those are the ones that have trouble. Make sure your child is everything to you. The only thing I would be concerned about (given this is just my opinion) would be your age and length of time being married. I had my first son at age 22 and was really immature, having no idea what I was doing. I also got pregnant a month after the wedding, and since we were newlyweds trying to adjust to married life, it wasn't a good thing. It's up to you. If I were you, I'd talk to my mother or other trusted women in your family. They'd be able to give a more personal, objective opinion than I could. :)


peniwise - March 5

I think that if you and your husband both want to try then it should not matter what anyone else thinks. You are not married to your family and your family being supportive of "the situation" should not be a factor at all. If you are one of those people that need the support of your family now while your husband is away then let me submit this to you to think over. I recently read a story about a couple in your situtation. They had decided that they would wait to have the baby so they could be together during the pregnancy but there was a backup plan. He had his sperm saved. He died in the war and she went on to be the mother of his child without him. Now there is an upside and a downside - upside is she has a piece of him with her always - downside is that he never had the chance to know that he was going to be a father. So I hope this reply helps you.


lynnemtrix - March 17

Personally, if you both want the baby, and you're both sure, I would start trying. It doesn't sound like a bad reason to me. I've absolutely put my foot down on my fiance joining the military, but were he ever to do so, I think we would try the same thing.


TurnerBabyCraze - March 22

Yup I agree.. My hubby and Me are in the military. Him ashtonw12- Navy and me Army.. We are trying and Im only 20 and he is 25... We are Newlyweds and have been trying even before we were married. The military makes people grow up really fast and I think that is why we are both ready. i was ready at 19 (when we started trying). And no ladies, I am not saying that I am READY TO have a child like I know everything that it takes and can handle it, because I know NO ONE is ready until the actually know what its like. But yeah we got ready and we are also VERY MUCH trying before he gets put on the ship in November... I am trying not to be stressed because that could hurt the odds of getting pregnant but its hard to feel like we are rushed. If we don't get a positive before November it will be another two or three years before we can even try. So.. sorry for the long post, but from common experience... DO IT! Go for it for sure!!



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